Open Poetry #28 |
Precipice (Duet by Jason and Littlewing) |
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Violently pitching from side to side it hurt Crawling through the mud nails caked full of dirt I look for the horizon miles of wasteland is all I see Soul screaming madly transparent I bleed Did you hear the crack of thunder? Faster than a whip Slowly, I can feel the tightening of the grip of death She fell upon my soul squeezing all my life out through the hole in my heart and I thought, as I climbed I am stronger than this it is not fate which I fear, I stumble and miss one more foot f a l l towards my horizon It is what lies behind me that's marking the miles on Shall I look back? I may turn to stone Or keep bleeding my breath for that last gasp of hope? [This message has been edited by littlewing (08-11-2003 05:11 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good question nice writing you two! |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
You two did a great job together. I can feel the agony and doubts through this poem. “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Bravo you two! Kept me hanging on like a rollercoaster ride right till the end! hugs, Chris |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
towards my horizon It is what lies behind me that's marking the miles on well done by two of the finest.... and yes, but that's the problem isn't it what lies behind is still there with many of us......cant shake it loose when it sleeps in the same bed.......lol |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Can't lie, i've been waiting for this one awesome guys |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
and I thought, as I climbed I am stronger than this it is not fate which I fear, I stumble and miss one more foot f a l l towards my horizon It is what lies behind me that's marking the miles on ~*~ You two definitely have a way of getting your message across...but together, you most certainly mark miles... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Very nice...I heard a rumor that this was in the works. Happy to see it. Ed |
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dreambuilder Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319caddyshack |
nice write you guys . . . hope sometimes is all that we have liked how you questioned it here though [This message has been edited by dreambuilder (08-12-2003 12:34 AM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Sue and Jason, your duet sounds very good!! An excellent work, you two. Hugs Ethel |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thanks Dix . . . yes always questioning Ben thank you so much . . . just what we hoped for Chris, thank you - is hard to keep doubt flowing Michele, indeed yes . . . the past is much more frightening than the future thank you Thank you Raph . . . see I doubt to? We all do Thank you Karilea . . . always making me smile . . . Hey Ed! Thank you so much . . . hmm a lil birdie told ya huh? Mike - thank you - long time no see where have you been? Ethel - thank you Thanks guys and thank you Jason, it was his concept entirely and we ran with it . . . was a nice dance indeed and I loved writing with you Jason Thanks guys xxoo |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Friggin' awesome job you guys.. Makes Meg happy |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Brilliant what the two of you have done. Itll make a nice addition. GIS a trickle of music from a well |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
regards sudhir |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
wonderfully penned...only look back to remember those moments that which embraced you... |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Meg - thank you so much and glad it could make you happy Thank you green . . . nice to see you reading Thank you Sudhir . . . so sweet Lee - if it were that easy . . . thank you for your insight truly thanks guys xxoo |
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dreambuilder Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319caddyshack |
Bump Bump |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
littlewing - hope is good, and a great write from two good poets... BC |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
An awesome write from two great poet's.Hope is sometimes all there is and looking back can be a disadvantage. angelblueyes |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Thank you all for the read and the comments, and Sue, thank you for the write, had alot of fun.Was a nice dance indeed. Jason |
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