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gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-08-09 08:08 AM

Upon same
concrete
we have walked
arm in arm

You almost
pass me by
high
as usual
staggering
way before midnight

Did karma get you
tonight?
I hear
it did.

Our movements mirror
and we stare
standing
alone with
everybody

Passer by chatter
dulled

I
can
only
hear
my
chest
screaming

Noticing
odd
things

The shirt
you wear
is ugly
and
what seems
to be a hat
covers
your
beautiful eyes

Do you know
what I
was
REALLY
thinking?

I would
drop it all
just
to talk
to you

So we
can be
friends

Then?
your
selfishness
shines

Escape
thru taxi door

Telling me
you're in
a bad mood

Wallet stolen

So I walk
in this
blackout

As friends
watch you

Telling me
how pale you
were

Whilst
I feel

Transparent
again
.
.
.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2003-08-09 09:02 AM

This is such a beautifully written peice of poetry, it had me hooked all the way through, but for me the last two lines/stanzas were just perfect.

quote:

Whilst
I feel

Transparent
again

Thanks for sharing this with us

Andy

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

2 posted 2003-08-09 09:28 AM

Some pains are more than unbearable ...

        ... they are simply untouchable.
           How could anyone see you as transparent,
                       is beyond me!!

[This message has been edited by ctowen (08-09-2003 09:28 AM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

3 posted 2003-08-09 09:28 AM

Gemma . . . you know now I was going to take the part about karma - amazing lines then I saw the brush off part and then I read about transparency and decided that this entire write shall be framed as a reminder to myself
thank you
xxoo

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

4 posted 2003-08-09 10:50 AM

This is haunting.
Excellent poetry....straight from your beautiful heart.
Eric

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

5 posted 2003-08-09 09:31 PM

"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone ..."

BUMP!!!
(must have been a seagull)

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

6 posted 2003-08-09 09:45 PM

very nice write,,,,,

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

7 posted 2003-08-10 11:04 PM

you have the touch , i am at a loss of words
notice the reasons within your eyes

wolfy

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

8 posted 2003-08-10 11:17 PM

Gemma, I'm at a loss for words.......
I'm so mad at him for doing you this way.

Hugs and love to you, my little friend

Ethel Mae

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

9 posted 2003-08-10 11:32 PM

Ugh, you give me goosebumps.

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

10 posted 2003-08-10 11:51 PM

Anguishing !

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