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Open Poetry #28
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pain and addiction (duet with Riley)
| Open Poetry #28 |
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pain and addiction (duet with Riley) |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981
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Deeper set eyes look back, a double glance To set in time the pain you caused Fingers still playing with the stickiness of blood Trust is a foolish word- I felt fear where you should've been, your shadows haunting me Inviting me to kiss a silver life, Taking mine or leaving you to die Tears run into open wounds, stinging the flesh you have no reason to make me hate you so, but for sheer delight in that bitter taste resting on my tongue and running out of my lips that you kissed just last night slicing me up, with the pain that's who I am it felt good overcome by addiction, I feel my reflection as it judges me speak up girl- what have you become? ***this was inspired by paranoia, insanity and riley's strange thread in feelings.  it turned out a bit different than we planned, but it fits both of us pretty well. welcome to the dark side  ***[This message has been edited by Wind (08-08-2003 05:51 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
 haha this lil guy comes in handy,eh!?  If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Vivid. Lurid. Broken. Lost. Oh yeah, it's dark. It's also extremely evocative writing of a topic I have trouble coming to terms with. Still. It's all in there. [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (08-08-2003 06:16 PM).] |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
Very dark, but very powerful.You both did great. angelblueyes |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Amazing . . . why hasnt this been done earlier? Dark beauty indeed . . . Congrats guys, I love this xxoo |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
thank you guys very much.. btw littlwing..we've been planing it for a while  insanity is not a crime |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Wow seriously in awe you two are seemless.. one of many more i hope |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Perfect! Bravo! hugs to you both, Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
thank you all..... riley * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
this needs to breathe . . . |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...breathe, indeed... it also needs to be done again. The duet, I mean. Marvelous bit of interplay, you too... I cannot say I always care for "dark" poetry, but the two of you could get me to change my mind. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Trust is a foolish word- I felt fear where you should've been You two? I jus love ya...this is perfect. Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
lol.. ::takes award: I'd like to thank my family, my friends and all the good people of piptalk. I'd like to thank my lack of sleep and accute case of paranoia. But most of all, I'd like to thank my wonderfull duet partner. But? sadly I can't..because this award is imaginary  ::insanity is not a crime |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
I would agree with above "dark" is something that needs careful balance or it becomes mush same with "light " I suppose but you two DID do a great job yes, wouldn't mind summore snakes from the little charmers  |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
wow..yes!!! awesome. at a loss for words.. partially because this is just that good, partially because i'm sleep deprived.. loved this, going in the library. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
i would accept an imaginary award :grabs it and runs off: * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Amazing duet you two!! Extremely well written. ~Hugs to you both~ ~The breeze that kissed you on the face, |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I started quoting, then realized I'd quoted all but the first 3 lines (not that I didn't like them, just liked the rest better) Anyway, this was a really cool surprise to come back to! Really nice job on this one. Ya'll did good! Dark does work well from both of you. Now...did ya miss me???? |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A very interesting visit to the darkside--but I wouldn't want to live there!  You two do dark well!  EA |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
thanks evryone. And Duc? you were gone? of corse I missed yainsanity is not a crime |
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