Open Poetry #28 |
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This Afternoon |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA ![]() |
Rising upon this green summer faint moody blue smiles teenage angst ridden laying upon lawn remembering the growing pain of flowering without you beside me wishing my hair would grow as fast as the grass cut around my toes melancholy rides each blade towards exit removing myself from this nightmare daydream. Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Pretty write Gem... The picture painted reminds me a vase the way you have displayed it...fits with the introspection written here very well. TD |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Gem, you know I do that a lot too . . . especially outside - looking up at the sky sun shining and wondering why I am sad . . . Nightmare daydream . . . you have written it just as it feels . . . and beautifully sliding, slicing, flowing onto the page xxoo |
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garysgirl![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
wishing my hair would grow as fast as the grass cut around my toes melancholy rides each blade towards exit removing myself from this nightmare daydream. Gemma, even though this is sad, I like this. ![]() Hugs and love ![]() Ethel |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
Warm thoughts of a wondering Moonchild ... .. I am a Daydream Believer myself. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now see what art does? I saw an empty spool that once held thread, wondering where the thread went as I read your poem... you do well at stitching up the sadness... |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
slowly but surely he passes..if not i have the list ready to remind you..did i mention he's wel...nevermind |
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Wind![]()
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
beautiful gem. perfectly executed ![]() insanity is not a crime |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Gemma, you are such a gifted writer. It is always a pleasant experience to read your works. This one is a bit sad though. Huggles, Marti |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
very beautiful write,,, |
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Ratleader![]()
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
"melancholy rides each blade towards exit removing myself from this nightmare daydream." I started picking up lines I particularly liked, and ended up with the whole darned poem.....so back to the first ones I highlighted.... Very creative imagery here, that really moves the poem....and that nightmare daydream -- love it! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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vandana![]()
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed ![]() |
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Christina24rb Junior Member
since 2003-07-25
Posts 13Georgia |
very nice!! ![]() |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
remembering the growing pain of flowering without you beside me wishing my hair would grow as fast as the grass cut -------- perfect... the translation of thought to words is perfect... regards to you gemma, Sudhir |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
remembering the growing pain of flowering without you beside me Yes...painful...and expressed well..I very much enoyed this. Susan C. |
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