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Open Poetry #28
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-09-17 08:49 AM


It is here
In this land sucked dry by sun
Then swept into hills that mock
Wave form
                    To crumble
                                       At crest
That water decries

We wondered these lands
Goatskin fill
               Our springs
With no thought of death
As our hearts turned
       In whirling dervish prayer

“We would lie in recompense for one taste of lips”

Staggered stone
              Reminded the twists of life
Bruising
              Burning
                          Belie
Of youth

That evening,
       When in stars gaze we lay uncovered
        And spoke of things to come
         We did not mention the thoughts
             That losing one
                                     Was losing half a whole
We simply begged alms
                               From each other’s lips
And wondered at the falling streaks
Dropped from heaven’s bowl.

This land now
                       Is emptier than before
Missing the bloom of passing rain

And I
           Am thirsty
                         and would drown
                                  
                                   whole



© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-09-17 08:51 AM



It's not proper
for someone to be this
in tune
this early
in the morning...

or is it?


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2003-09-17 08:55 AM


hmmm...you are beginning to be too deep for my simple mind..but if it's rain you are thirsty for, in a day or so we will have more than our fill here...I would gladly share...

*definitely not what you are meaning, but I was never good at interpretations.

I did notice you are using  some "d" words though   (dictionary time for me)

M

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (09-17-2003 08:57 AM).]

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
3 posted 2003-09-17 09:01 AM


Especially this part:

That evening,
       When in stars gaze we lay uncovered
        And spoke of things to come
         We did not mention the thoughts
             That losing one
                                     Was losing half a whole

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2003-09-17 09:05 AM


This land now
                       "Is emptier than before
Missing the bloom of passing rain

And I
           Am thirsty
                         and would drown
                                  
                                   whole"

Without our own water we are all missing something...

I know if I found what I want I might surely drown as well..

I loved this Sir Ron!

Susan

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2003-09-17 09:11 AM


Hi Ron

"And I
           Am thirsty
                         and would drown
                                  
                                   whole"

Great ending!  Wonderfully done, my friend.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-09-17 09:28 AM


Beautiful!
That you  should write as such
when my mind
is not yet awake...
Good grief!
Wonderful poet sir.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~


~ I love your glances meeting mine
     across forever or the room ~

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
7 posted 2003-09-17 09:32 AM


That evening,
       When in stars gaze we lay uncovered
        And spoke of things to come
         We did not mention the thoughts
             That losing one
                                     Was losing half a whole
We simply begged alms
                               From each other’s lips
And wondered at the falling streaks
Dropped from heaven’s bowl.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
beautifull...........
Love this Oh so very much...

~~ Connie ~~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2003-09-17 09:52 AM


That evening,
       When in stars gaze we lay uncovered
        And spoke of things to come
         We did not mention the thoughts
             That losing one
                                     Was losing half a whole


Darn Capt....I needed this today.  Perhaps I need to be here reading more than I have been...this soothes the soul when read.
much wisdom in your words today Capt...I needed this...oh yes....
soft smiles~thank you....

I must have had my momma's will
and Gods Amazing Grace...

I'm a survivor....
(Reba)

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

9 posted 2003-09-17 10:43 AM


Bravo Cpat! Damn that was good!!! I loved it. How much? X----->infinity That about says it all!
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
10 posted 2003-09-17 11:50 AM


That evening,
       When in stars gaze we lay uncovered
        And spoke of things to come
         We did not mention the thoughts
             That losing one
                                     Was losing half a whole
We simply begged alms
                               From each other’s lips
And wondered at the falling streaks
Dropped from heaven’s bowl.


Oh my goodness, Capt. Ron...this is beautiful
beyond words for me yet again. I could read
that part alone over and over again. I love the
form you wrote it in, too....it adds emphasis
to the words so well. Thanks for sharing
your work with us, Sir.  
Hugs  
Ethel

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