aware of this divide (screen challenge)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #28

aware of this divide (screen challenge)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2003-09-12 03:15 PM

I saw him vague
in shadowing
no definition
drawn by lines
smoke gray spirit
hovering
a fog
that grasped
the warm concrete
in desperate need
of something real
as the bats
played tag at dusk.

I saw him fall.
Instinctively
I tried to reach--
there I met myself
in sieve
aware of this divide.

I watched him bleeding
helplessly
wondering
intent of screen--
was it there
placed with the care
to keep things out
or lock me in?

* * *

sigh. This'll have to do for now Cap.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

1 posted 2003-09-12 03:24 PM

"I saw him fall.
Instinctively
I tried to reach--
there I met myself
in sieve
aware of this divide.

I watched him bleeding
helplessly
wondering
intent of screen--
was it there
placed with the care
to keep things out
or lock me in?"

Well, I would think that this would more
than 'do for now'...smile.

Love this, you...
When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2003-09-12 03:42 PM

I saw him vague
in shadowing
no definition
drawn by lines
smoke gray spirit
hovering
a fog
that grasped
the warm concrete
in desperate need
of something real
as the bats
played tag at dusk.
==========================

"have to do"?????
baby...you paint the scene better than most.
nothing you write has to do..it just DOES!!!

"If you hear teardrops falling like rain on the rooftops ...
know what you're listening to ... is me missing you."

JH

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2003-09-12 03:47 PM

Got to agree with those above, Karen...you do good screen, or anything!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-09-12 03:53 PM

Ditto to everyone else, Karen.....
excellent writing as always!!

Hugs

Ethel

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

5 posted 2003-09-12 03:58 PM

it will do... ( chuckling)

but you knew that.. and you knew it would do quite well..

thank you K... for playing the game...and for humoring me.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

6 posted 2003-09-12 08:25 PM

enjoyed it Karen..but did you have to mention bats...I am waiting for my yearly fall one to show up and make my night uncomfortable.( sleeping with the covers over my head tonight...)

hugss
M

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.