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James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2003-09-11 07:14 PM

             X’d

blood               flows
        somehow
stays               inside

                   didn’t know           could last
                                  this long
                   with no                 heart

you took             back
           your own
kept                   mine

                    and I                  last on
                                live on
                    empty               beatless

but this             can’t be
             lasting
couldn’t              be life

                  impossible            this is
                                   living
                  just an X                on, on

heart              hope
         gone
joy                 love

                   why                 why
                              why
                   why                 why

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2003-09-11 07:32 PM

Jamie

All the pieces of this add to the feeling of broken...sad when this happens. Well done!

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

2 posted 2003-09-11 07:34 PM

yes...scattered broken feeling...love this..

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2003-09-11 07:44 PM

A good presentation...a timeless feel.
This X marked the feelings.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

4 posted 2003-09-11 11:52 PM

                   didn’t know           could last
                                  this long
                   with no                 heart

you took             back
           your own
kept                   mine

                    and I                  last on
                                live on
                    empty               beatless

Where living really isn't such... only existing... We give someone so much power when we give them our heart... can only pray they treat it gently. *S* You've chosen a unique way to write what happens when those prayers aren't answered... and accomplished it so very well.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

5 posted 2003-09-11 11:56 PM

Enjoyed muchly Jamie.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

6 posted 2003-09-11 11:58 PM

you took             back
           your own
kept                   mine

~ that is so painful to experience.

The way you laid your words down on the page, effectively illustrates how broken and fragmented you must be feeling.

Warm, healing hugs,
EA

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