Open Poetry #28 |
I begin, without you again. |
gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
You are greed wading in chances given unfulfilled oh no one is as innocent as you always swimming clear of blame when you trip over own spilled water You are selfish like death yet love springs like pure water from where you stained marks upon splintered wood that had suffered long before roots were cut It was that slippery scale ~lost to saved~ that leaked jealousy from stars who wanted to wade like you and I to be carried despite weight of your heavy burdens in dreams and in day evaporated I begin without you again . . . Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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© Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Gemma, this is outstanding! I'm keeping it to read over and over, I just love how it twists and turns. I love the tone of it! ~K~ |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
that leaked jealousy from stars who wanted to wade like you and I to be carried despite weight of your heavy burdens in dreams and in day evaporated dear girl... you are far from evaporated..it only seems to you at this time your heart is parched. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Gemma~ Let's get together over a drink and discuss this "man" we both seem to know... Beautiful piece. Susan |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic...I love this one! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Summer can't be over... |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
I like the way you lay contrasting colors on top of each other, show us the truth they make together....things like this: "that leaked jealousy from stars who wanted to wade like you and I" Startling and yet true. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
oooooo, owie owie owie |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
better without him besides now you can focus your attention on Kelly Jones from the 'phonics |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Wow! Gem, have you noticed how powerful the words get as time progresses? Eventually it becomes all too clear that it isn't him we're writing about, it's ourselves.. our reactions. Our anger mixed with sadness and longing.. it almost becomes too much. But everyday a bit of strength returns, maybe more than we had to begin with.. We'll never say we don't love that person, and I don't think I'll ever stop feeling anguish over the end.. but there's more to us than that.. there's ourselves and who we are, alone. I'll stop babbling, I make no sense.. I like this write a lot.. Saving it. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Like a circle...James |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
Hey girl I feel you in this and although your heart may feel parched it will soon have the refreshment of love and happiness that it so deserves. Crystal |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Kelllllllyyyyyyy Joooooonnnnnnnneeeeessss Don't say his name you idiot, I go wappy. dribbling I think he has a girlfriend. Thankyou for the replies and meg, it made perfect sense, you're so right. kelly joooooonessssssssssssssssssss |
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