Open Poetry #28 |
Flight 249 |
brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
nothing but blue out my windowseat blue..... and invisible dimensions of turbulence flicker in the vast corners of eyes making temples shudder drinks spill outcries please hug your knees we are about to crash does that stomach like it's new upright position? we have memories on our undeveloped film of last night...... the wing separates from it's angel and rips a hole in our minds our selves sucked from thirty thousand feet of womb and cast strewn over the miles before we crash into my own personal weekend jarring the senses out of my hands shrieking mental of hot suffocating air...plain the slide stops I gather wits around the pilot's cocktail emerge naked into this forest of sharp sensations but I can hear them the direction to go the wasted path of this crash I have all weekend to walk back and find them gather gather my selves back nurse them back into my skull so we can be United once again |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Very cool. Jason |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I have always thought that it is not so much the crash as the moments before that is the true terror. But I loved the way you ended this--with a bit of hope, I think. and a tube of superglue? love you. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Exactly where do you spend your weekends? . . . like a journey to the center of the Earth . . . and back xxoo |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
All I can say is WOW...you are definitely a master story teller, and had me sitting on the edge of my earth-bound seat. I will be thinking of this next time I hop a flight...but, of course, I think the ending of this one is so very good...you walk away!!! ~S~ Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart ~~S~~ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
damn, I envy your way with words to put the reader in a mood I can't even explain |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
wooooooooo. someone close my mouth. 'mazing stuff as usual bri. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
thanks everybody |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Is this why the palms of my hands are never dry on an airline? It it? Huh? Izzit? Sheesh, guess I'll be vacationing close to home..... |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
How did I not reply to this?...geez...I'm slackin'...*grin* This is just amazing writing, Bri...but then...it always is when it's from your pen. Hugs, you... "My friends are my estate." |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Geez...I had to take a minute after reading this one and make sure that I was still on solid ground! I hate airplanes, but I LOVED this write Brian! Great job |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Love every single line.... keeping it. Maree fate is not just |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Understanding this on a level I never thought I would travel... Well done, Brian |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
That was... frighteningly COOL! awesome write, Bri ~Tier |
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