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Open Poetry #28
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2003-08-24 10:58 PM


I can close my eyes

and feel the silk of her hair,
her complaint
plaited by my patience.

See how the part is crocked in the back?

There are no straight lines in a memory,
but I swear there is a scar
where her brown eyes lingered
true and straight while daring the brush.

Buzzing like the wings of a dragonfly
on the edge of time wandering the land,
her eyes lighting all they touch,

she gathers yellow flowers filled
with night and its water,
they rustle against her skirt
tassel-like.

Watch me,  she says.
I can make my hair dance.
Turn around and then again,
caught in the air of time,
her hair a rope or a bridge
to climb, to cross
her excellent eyes.

She did not tell me this;
it was not til later that I found out
that many things are possible
when you close your eyes.

How the pull of life
tilts it’s to-and-fro rhythm
in wait of an irregular clock.

You can find her stirring there
upon the blades of grass
being what I have not yet been,
taking root and waiting for me.

She is at the edge of sight,
on the cusp of a single strand of silk,
lit by love whose brush stokes pass the slant
and light the close of eyes with perfect lamp,

and I can close my eyes.

[This message has been edited by Martie (08-24-2003 10:59 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2003-08-24 11:15 PM


She is at the edge of sight,
on the cusp of a single strand of silk,
lit by love whose brush stokes pass the slant
and light the close of eyes with perfect lamp

Martie and Maree~ Your duetting is such a pretty sight to be hold.

So so nicely done you two~

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
2 posted 2003-08-24 11:20 PM


This made me smile, and laugh and even brought a wistful tear.

Bravo!

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2003-08-24 11:26 PM


Angels do sing.


This is utterly breathtaking. I had the pleasure of reading a draft, so I knew we were in for a treat with this one....but even with that preparation, I didn't know it would be this beautiful.

Thank you, and thank you.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
4 posted 2003-08-24 11:35 PM


Dear ladies, this is magnificent work...I sat here with jaw dropped in the three times I read this piece.  Maree, Martie...Goodness, I am completely speechless.

Going back for another jaw drop right now.

Incredible!!!!

Patricia

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
5 posted 2003-08-24 11:38 PM


two of pip's most brilliant meet and meld..fantastic
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2003-08-25 12:49 PM


Thank you, Maree for writing with me...it was a pleasure...you are wonderful!
Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2003-08-25 03:56 AM


Ladies, we need another please?  This was wonderful.
Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
8 posted 2003-08-25 04:05 AM


I ditto Raph's comment.. this is fantastic.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2003-08-25 06:45 AM


Martie...it was a pleasure and a real honour to write with you sweet lady. Thank you... love you heaps

Ms Blues, icebox, Ed, Raph, Sharon and Meg... thank you all so very much for your lovely replies and for stopping in to read both Martie and I.

much appreciated.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
10 posted 2003-08-25 09:14 AM


I'm smiling - You ladies are both awesome writers...
Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2003-08-25 09:16 AM



Smooth chocolate cream...
the browns in this made me smile...
and the plaiting made me remember...

and the hair...
dancing...
made me smile...again.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
12 posted 2003-08-25 09:17 AM


Martie - you write well together, this is special...

She did not tell me this;
it was not til later that I found out
that many things are possible
when you close your eyes.

Many things are possible when one closes their eyes, it's a shame that they aren't at times when eyes are open...

BC

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2003-08-25 10:38 AM


Buzzing like the wings of a dragonfly
on the edge of time wandering the land,
her eyes lighting all they touch,

she gathers yellow flowers filled
with night and its water,
they rustle against her skirt
tassel-like.

Watch me,  she says.
I can make my hair dance.

Such vivid imagery, such a tender, touching write... this is one to linger on the heart. Ladies, this is magnificent!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2003-08-25 10:42 AM


Martie
You two write magic.

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2003-08-25 11:20 AM


Martie and Maree...this is pure magic.
Just beautiful. I hope you two ladies don't mind
if I keep it to read again and again.
Hugs to you both  
Ethel

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2003-08-25 01:42 PM


Lori...Thank you pretty lady!

icebox....if it brought you all that, then we did good!

Ed...What a wonderful thing to say!

Patricia...Incredible is a word I like..thank you.

Aenimal...Maree is brilliant, I am just me..and thanks for such a high compliment.

Sharon...I'd love to duet again with Maree!

Kaoru---to ditto Raph is a good thing..thanks!

Nan...thanks for the smile.

Bill...sometimes they are!

suthern....I hope that this is true...it has special meaning to me, and I hope the reader feels it too.

Sy....You reply magic!

Ethel...I sure would be honored if you would keep this to read, I'm sure Maree would be too...thank you.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
17 posted 2003-08-25 11:21 PM


Yes! Two remarkable women, and one remarkable write.

"Watch me,  she says.
I can make my hair dance.
Turn around and then again,
caught in the air of time,
her hair a rope or a bridge
to climb, to cross
her excellent eyes."

I don't know or care which of you wrote this small wonder. Just know, that it is merely one bijou among many.

Superb!

Hugs to both! And a thank you, for sharing.

Ed

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
18 posted 2003-08-25 11:58 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Martie and Maree, this is sooooooooooo beautiful, sweet friends, this made me cry imagining the summertime caress like a mothers loving touch to her litrle daughter! (smiles) This made me cry as it is just gorgeous, sweet friends, I love this, this is a classic, yay, we all love you both so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Martie and Maree, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you both!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
19 posted 2003-08-26 02:39 AM



You two are wonderful, as is this duet.

I absolutely love it.

Hugs to you both...

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
20 posted 2003-08-26 02:42 AM



Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
21 posted 2003-08-26 11:37 AM


Maree & MartieSis~

I saw her dancing ... on tip-of-toeing through the beauty of the thoughts so tenderly poured forth from you both~

'Watch me,  she says.
I can make my hair dance.
Turn around and then again,
caught in the air of time,
her hair a rope or a bridge
to climb, to cross
her excellent eyes.

She did not tell me this;
it was not til later that I found out
that many things are possible
when you close your eyes.'


Preciously, preciously tender~

*Huglets* to you both~
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
noles1@totcon.com   

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
22 posted 2003-09-02 08:01 PM


this is fantastic - great - out of sight - well guess you get the idea - loved this - you two did it great - Paul
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
23 posted 2003-09-02 10:22 PM


A lovely collaboration that elicited a plethora of emotions in me.

&
EA

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
24 posted 2003-09-02 10:30 PM


and how this passed my watchful eye, I shall never know, byt glad I found it here . . . would be shame in itself to miss this one

You can find her stirring there
upon the blades of grass
being what I have not yet been,
taking root and waiting for me.

I cannot tell where the root begins and the flower blooms . . .
amazing, the both of you
xxoo

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