Open Poetry #28 |
Unrisked |
snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Just a chance with your breath-filled space unbroken-- All it would have taken to win me Was a few burning moments alone With the ascending melody of each sounding mist. I am unable to conceive Of such a stage of elation, Should you have called me in, Even if for a moment’s endurance... I can tell--you knew the oceans would be rendered silent; The clouds would have had nothing on the fruit of those minutes... Just a risk of my pride for your unchecked blaze-- All that was required for the pleasure of such enticement Was a temporary disregard of myself And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon. I’ll never fully comprehend The potential of your eyes in mine, Should I have let go, Just for a few fleeting seconds... -kh '03 **to a moth who shall remain nameless: OK?? you can stop demanding now...... just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
hey sp...those moths are persistant, ain't they? and I for one am SO glad. These boards have been doing without your words long enough. I know I don't say it often enough, but you do write with such a lovely style of grace and intelligence, and a certain vulnerability that is simply irrestible. Thanks for this touch of lovely, and thank that nameless moth too, will ya? to both of you. |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
I think this is an exquisite work of art, moth or no moth!!!! Quite a lovely read, and makes me wonder how many experiences we miss in life, because we don't allow them to happen......~S~ Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart ~~S~~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Just a chance with your breath-filled space unbroken-- ============================ I can tell--you knew the oceans would be rendered silent; The clouds would have had nothing on the fruit of those minutes... Just a risk of my pride for your unchecked blaze-- All that was required for the pleasure of such enticement Was a temporary disregard of myself And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon. I’ll never fully comprehend The potential of your eyes in mine, Should I have let go, Just for a few fleeting seconds... ============================== well, well, well, lookie what I found... A post by ole frosty britches And I only had to ask(demand?) once Well what ever it takes...and KA is right..she captures the true essence and beauty of your words--she just says it so much more lovely than I do, Have I mentioned I just love it when you use big words. love this line... And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon. Well you know the moth loves getting her way, so thanks for indulging me with a post. Now about these lines... I can tell--you knew the oceans would be rendered silent; The clouds would have had nothing on the fruit of those minutes... you aint neva lied heh So...I can expect one of these again tonite? one all week? Honey child--you dont KNOW demanding yet You're going to hear my voice in the morning calling your name ... and know my love and my desperation were one and the same. J.Browne [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (08-24-2003 06:56 AM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hmmm... nameless moths? We have those around here?? Nicely penned, snowpants... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome home, Kris. And welcome to Kansas! [Sun thanks one mothy gal for her persistence...] |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"Just a risk of my pride for your unchecked blaze-- All that was required for the pleasure of such enticement Was a temporary disregard of myself And the reticence that kept me from each inspired moon. I’ll never fully comprehend The potential of your eyes in mine, Should I have let go, Just for a few fleeting seconds..." I LOVE this verse Kris!! And know the feeling...so well. Darn moths...can't live with 'em, can't swat 'em. |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
serenity: why thank you for that...I am quite flattered...irresistible, huh? that's quite a compliment...I do appreciate it...thank you!! Sunnyone: thank you very much...yes, you are right...pride, or just plain fear keeps us from a lot of experiences, doesn't it? glad you enjoyed... J: LMAO...you ain't neva lied.....and, um, hey yo, insatiable--tonight?? now you're really pushing it but, as always, thanks for the encouragement you never cease to give me with my writing...you ain't neva lied and, big words, huh?? hmmm...I'll have to remember that...hehe Nan: yeah, I've found out the hard way...thanks Nan...glad you liked it... Sunshine: why thank you...I am quite enjoying the change of pace here...during the day, that is...at night, you get foxes running in front of your car...ack Duncan: LMAO...can't swat 'em...I couldn't have said it better myself...OOH, did I say that out loud...HI JM...hahaha thanks Duncan...glad you liked it... sp just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday... [This message has been edited by snowpants (08-24-2003 11:30 AM).] |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
"Just a chance ..." Ohhhhh this spoke volumes to me for I have wished this oh so many times. Keeper here! always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
snowpants....It is so good to see you posting after so long...this is a beautiful piece of your heart! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
quote: Outstanding. Love the cadence, the soft emotional glow of this piece. |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
"All it would have taken to win me Was a few burning moments alone With the ascending melody of each sounding mist." sp, beautiful words, so touching. I have missed reading your work. Its good to be back in the blue. I am so glad that moth can be demanding. Dee Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are. Clearwater |
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