Open Poetry #28 |
Sweet Indulgence |
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
She hopped onto a cool stainless prep table, kicked off peppermint pink sandals and sat, her legs tucked under. “Make me something?” she asked, with a smile that soothed like a pacific breeze against the flush of too many hours over a white-hot grill. “Got me a soundtrack?” I winked, knowing she would. So she sang me some tunes while I tossed and sautéed, topping my glass, steadily with cool, golden Mer et Soliel. From glass to lip to laugh I felt her in some easy corner of my mind a sweet indulgence of simplicity, with a halo in her pocket… watching me. |
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© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Glad I caught this one Duncan, it's so beautiful. Being online not very often I miss a lot of beautiful poetry. Always like your poems friend. Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
lol, you and your intelegence. You amaze me more every day. now don't run off again Or I'll hurt you insanity is not a crime |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
What a delightful read....especially those peppermint pink sandals ... darling! always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I felt her in some easy corner of my mind a sweet indulgence of simplicity, with a halo in her pocket… watching me. You are such a delight to read.... I know I promised not to gush, but if it isn't too much trouble, could you indulge me more?? lol~ Love the mood, and the way you served up this little taste teaser. You are not only a lesson in patience, you make it hard to resist goob~ |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
"I felt her in some easy corner of my mind a sweet indulgence of simplicity, with a halo in her pocket…" Beautiful m'friend! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
with a smile that soothed like a pacific breeze against the flush of too many hours over a white-hot grill. ============================= I felt her in some easy corner of my mind a sweet indulgence of simplicity, with a halo in her pocket… ================================= this is up there with some of your best in creating more with less and scene setting. the lines I highlighted above are cooler than cool. great write porch puppy...bout time you posted something. I reread to see if I missed the line telling us she was blonde...then I found it hidden in the imagery.... kicked off peppermint pink sandals well of course she was. You're going to hear my voice in the morning calling your name ... |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
<<“Make me something?” she asked, with a smile that soothed like a pacific breeze From glass to lip to laugh I felt her in some easy corner of my mind a sweet indulgence of simplicity, with a halo in her pocket… watching me.>> ======================= hey Duncan...this is very cool...I love the way you tell a story...makes me feel like I'm there too...excellent write! sp just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday... [This message has been edited by snowpants (08-24-2003 12:16 AM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Well, you romantic porch puppy, you.... you know that I can't follow Janet Marie's excellent reply, so I'll just say that I loved it....and are there more?? I hope so. By the way, I sure have missed you.... Hugs Ethel |
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ljossberir Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 81Ny, USA |
nice reading gentle and delicate, good stuff for a "heavy" day - and probably also alot more to it than meets the eye. good work! -matt |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Aye..you grabbed Serenity's "watching people watching people" challenge... and made us smile! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan Well done a delight to read. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Hey Dunc, this one is yummy! Dessert must have become an irresistable main course. |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Glad I didn't miss this...WOW! I am speechless here. Still shaking my head...you are sooooo good! Patricia |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
This is absolutely amazing.Beautiful and sweet.Your words flow so smooth and they paint such wondrous thoughts. Crystal |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I came back for a second serving. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Pink peppermint is a dead giveaway!! You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool a moth, or an angel in disguise. The firmest friendships are formed with mutual adversity, like steal unites with the fiercest flame. (author unknown to me) |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
TASTY!!!! ~K~ |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
She hopped onto a cool stainless prep table, kicked off peppermint pink sandals and sat, her legs tucked under doesn't the health dept have something to say about how you treat surfaces that are used to prepare food??? Here I thought you were a serious professional... LMAO... nicely done Dunc... now about that halo??? |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Duncan - I can only dream about something like this, great write... BC |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
Duncan, You always manage to put a smile in my heart for the day. ever deep...runs |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Her halo doesn't sit quite right when she's looking a gift horse in the mouth. Yankity yank and whoa!!! Missing you here, oh dear!!! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Why is it always the blondes that get wrote about? You set the stage and graced it very well.. Susan |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan....a sweet write! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
I felt her in some easy corner of my mind a sweet indulgence of simplicity, with a halo in her pocket… You constantly amaze, never disappoint and flatter us so much with excellent poetry like this. TD |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
whoa! i like! |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
You've described me so perfectly! How did you know? (chuckling) Good to read you again, Duncan... ~Tier |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
....it's like watching two people, and feeling their energy, and smiling at the connection they have.... and how it triggers your own memories....very cool read |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
A perfect moment captured in time, like a photograph. Sandra |
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SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
Well if this wasn't the cutest, sweetest thing. Reminds me of the time I worked prepping food at the stainless steal table..and I could just see a picture of this in my mind....this was so sweet, and romantic....soooooooooo cute!!! Loved it!!!!!! Brought back memories of my younger days when I could just hop up on a table, and chit chat sitting indian style. Acting silly, and bein' silly crazy in those younger years. hehe Thanks for the walk back through the memories. Cute one for sure!! SharaRose @-->-- Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I felt like I was watching a movie, and a dang good one at that! Excellent! I don't want to know where I am heading, it will spoil my journey. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent Duncan! Fantastic imagery...much enjoyed the read. ~Hugs~ ~ Summer can't be over... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"a sweet indulgence of simplicity, with a halo in her pocket…" ~ Ah, ha! An off-duty angel! She better be careful! I got into all kinds of trouble when my halo slipped just a few inches (Into The Bowels of Hell)--but for her to keep hers in her pocket....She has no protection at all against you! lol Enjoyed your poem! EA |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Oh waiter~ (ringing my bell) Can I get a side of sighs, if I trade you for a song to go? |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I must say...loved this... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Get in here and mind your manners, puppy... |
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