Open Poetry #28 |
A Canary Watches the Passing of The Sun |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
A Canary Watches The Passing of the Sun In the room the table is heavy legs folded and tucked The canary sings in its center he tells the sun the time singing to the yellow sash of the eastern curtain that watches the apple tree how drenched with fruit he sees for certain I have no lover but warble true says bird Reflecting to the dark side of the pond I hold the evening still within is the reply the frogs den and the fish cease swim in my shadow water’s song come along with me and see your own reflection cast in prisms care the beauty is love’s perfection Just as morning ends and hits cement with hot the trees dance away the sky leaving you and I in dappled light easing over the roof to night The fire takes the air in front and sparks it into the crystals slant across the room as if in dance canary sings to lights like fairies laced with his sweetest vocabulary forgeting for now the pond out back for in the pond he sees his lack Sun dares to dip behind the traces palm soldiers tall with headdress faces erect not bothered by the passing movement of the wind fan dancing the clouds now all swept into place as if a child’s crayon traced the colors of the human spectrum until they mix in genuflection [This message has been edited by Martie (08-22-2003 08:34 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"Sun dares to dip behind the traces palm soldiers tall with headdress faces erect not bothered by the passing movement of the wind fan dancing" Beautiful sweet Martie...and these words absolutely dance off the tongue. What fantastic imagery! ~Summertime Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~The breeze that kissed you on the face, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"forgeting for now the pond out back for in the pond he sees his lack" oh Martie... smile you do a sweet haunting of self. (even if it is MY self-- ) oh yes...love this much. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Just as morning ends and hits cement with hot the trees dance away the sky leaving you and I in dappled light easing over the roof to night The fire takes the air in front and sparks it into the crystals slant across the room as if in dance canary sings to lights like fairies laced with his sweetest vocabulary forgeting for now the pond out back for in the pond he sees his lack Sun dares to dip behind the traces palm soldiers tall with headdress faces erect not bothered by the passing movement of the wind fan dancing the clouds now all swept into place as if a child’s crayon traced the colors of the human spectrum until they mix in genuflection =============================== HOLY COW...what did you have for dinner??? *shaking me mothy head* Not only do I wanna ask how you write like this, but how do you find such a high level of inspire to set this off. I am moth giddy..Martie rhymed and reading this aloud made me high. You rock..and it rolls me You're going to hear my voice in the morning calling your name ... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
And I love how this eases into the sing-song of the canary, and the rhyme starts so innocently, and ends upon the climb...up. Thank you, my friend... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You give twilight new meaning, m'friend... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Jeez Martie.... I want to write like you! simply beautiful! you bring out the exclamations in me heh. Maree PS. keeping this. fate is not just |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie This is pure Martie. |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
You write very special poetry Martie - your imagery is amazing and I loved the sound of this wonderful poem - Paul |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MartieSis~ You simply give everything new meaning~ This one popped to the TOP TEN OF THE Martiesque Moments~ 15 reads and growing~ Printed, framed, hung~ I love you~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
WOW! Martie, this is superb, in every way. The imagery, the flow, the content. This will be one of my all-time favorites. I bow to the master. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I'll only say (again) how very talented you are. Wish I could infuse similar flavor into my own poor scribbles... Ed... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) Oh Martie, this is beautiful, sweet friend, I love canaries and I used to have one but mine died last summer! (sad sigh) You truly live with the spirit of that sweet little girl inside you, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Some of us count on paper and some of us write arithmetic...a few manage to scribble a bit of algebra. This is calculus. Beautifully done, m'lady. Excellent stuff from first syllable to last. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
My thanks, poet friends...it's funny, but this was one that I was not pleased with and almost put away as a lost cause. Thankyou for seeing something in it that I didn't...and givig my muse a more positive attitude...I appreciate it! Oh, and Ed...I am not good at any kind of math...so thanks for the compliment to my numbers. Hugs to all! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Tsk....Picasso used to say the same thing about his paintings.....that wasn't true either! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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