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David2
Member

since 2000-03-22

Posts 407

0 posted 2003-08-19 09:54 PM

Over

Someone to listen, no more but no less,
To ease for a moment the pain in this breast,
Owed to unyielding, incessant distress,
Who would have thought an outrageous request?

These shoulders,these arms,the source of your hope,
For years your refuge and shelter in storm,
Your haven from harm regardless of scope,
Kept you contented, replenished and warm.

For this in return you turned a deaf ear,
Leaving no vestige of friendship behind,
Freed from the worry and onus of fear,
That someone you loved was losing his mind.

Alone by the phone I cried at the thought
Of such unforgiveness my failings had wrought.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2003-08-19 11:18 PM

I could feel the sadness. Awesome write.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2003-08-20 01:17 AM

Such a ache in this poem and not one that any aspirin will fix. Well done.

Sure, I wear rose-colored glasses, makes everything just rosey. Carpe' Diem

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-08-20 04:03 AM

ouch

JilGirl
Member

since 2003-05-24

Posts 364
Washington

4 posted 2003-08-20 05:03 AM

A very well expressed write,
clearly understood!

'Tiz feathers that make the bird -
Always remember to keep them fluffed
but, never, EVER ruffle them!

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

5 posted 2003-08-26 08:37 PM

A sonnet format written in anapestic meter... I'm glad I went searching for more of your verse, David...

Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

6 posted 2003-08-26 08:52 PM

whatver Nan said, the only anapestic I ever used was when I once cut my finger.
You surely do know how to pen a poem.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2003-08-27 04:19 PM

LOL at Tim,
smiling with Nan,
thanking David...

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

8 posted 2003-08-27 04:24 PM

David, I had this really serious reply....
until I read the replies of Nan and Tim...
now my tickle box is turned over.

I will say that this was a wonderful poem. It's
very sad, though. I hope that it's not written
from personal experience.

And, I love the way you wrote it, too...
whatever Nan says that you did...I'm glad that she
looked for you, too.

Hugs

Ethel

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 2003-08-27 06:41 PM

David2
Enjoyed the read.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

10 posted 2003-08-27 07:13 PM

nice

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