Open Poetry #28 |
To Mae..........at the Heaven Eleven |
inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
How did u know Mae? You, of all people, Who would have thought? You seem like such a meat and potatoes gal, no Clare Voyant or Sy Kick, not you, but you know, you just do, you do, God Bless you girl, funny how angels appear out of the blue....... Who would have thought it would be you, to see behind it all, The eyes do tell all, don't they,(if one is looking) You saw me with the keeper today, like a doe caught in the headlights with my leash on, muted, and censored, a different ray of light today, Quick spread the word, you found her, in the 7-ll, the housewife on the milk carton container, AWOL......... just a stone's throw away from yesterdays time making 2 minute romance at the cappucino pot, (the fatfree for me.of course.(still looking for the sugardaddy) the 7 am assortment of freaks and geeks, truckers and suckers for a short skirt and a woman with a sign that says "break my heart" and Ronnie sang "Baby I Love You" as i sashayed down the cookie aisle in search of something sweet, and the Heaven Eleven filled my eyes with candy, and you laughed at the slice of life before you, seeing how opaque i am, no wonder you beat to a different drum altogether but you know, i'm exposed, you saw the double life before you, as best as anyone has yet, clearly evident in the strain in my step today, as i came in with the keeper today, God bless you , Mae Someone finally knows.............. *** this bud's for you, doll....(and i know you're a watching)************ [This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (08-19-2003 10:43 PM).] |
||
© Copyright 2003 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved | |||
1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
"and you laughed at the slice of life before you, seeing how opaque i am, no wonder you beat to a different drum altogether but you know, i'm exposed," damn damn just damn girl !!! |
||
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I second that damn. |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You know I don't recall any poem holding me riveted like this did. If May is watching, and I bet she is, you have just made her job on earth worthwhile, and I really do hope she has one now at the "Heaven Eleven." Just excellent descriptive writing, and I now almost feel I know the isles down that 711. Great job! |
||
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
nice bit of storytellin |
||
QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
wonderful read n write,,,, |
||
MoniDaPoet Member
since 2003-08-14
Posts 73California, USA |
Wow! I remember being able to write like this once and now I can't sleep thinking that I can't write like this anymore! Damn .... you are good to the tenth power! I have only my genius to declare! |
||
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Jesus Michele . . . loved the wordplay and Damn, you brought me down those aisles . . . aisle 3 was creepy - stay away from THAT one lol You are an amazing poetess Lady and an insightful one at that not a Sy Kick or a Clare Voyant but you see well enough . . . so does Mae brilliant xxoo |
||
Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
I love this! |
||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...James |
||
Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
I enjoyed this slice of your life ... now please hand me a chunk of that chocolate bar ... you did buy chocolate ... right? *wink* Great write here. always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
||
bklynboy Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660florida |
way too long....my attention span is limited to 20 lines or less....but I did take the time to read it all and it was good....but would I expect any less from you. But do me a favor....keep em short |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |