To Mae..........at the Heaven Eleven

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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2003-08-17 12:01 PM

How did u know Mae?
You, of all people,
Who would have thought?
You seem like such a meat and potatoes gal,
no Clare Voyant
or Sy Kick, not you,
but you know,
you just do, you do,
God Bless you girl,
funny how angels appear out of the blue.......
Who would have thought it would be you,
to see behind it all,
The eyes do tell all, don't they,(if one is looking)
You saw me with the keeper today,
like a doe caught in the headlights
with my leash on,
muted, and censored,
a different ray of light today,
Quick spread the word,
you found her,
in the 7-ll,
the housewife on the milk carton container,
AWOL.........
just a stone's throw away
from yesterdays time making
2 minute romance at the cappucino pot,
(the fatfree for me.of course.(still looking for the sugardaddy)
the 7 am assortment of freaks and geeks,
truckers and suckers for a short skirt
and a woman with a sign that says "break my heart"
and Ronnie sang "Baby I Love You"
as i sashayed down the cookie aisle
in search of something sweet,
and the Heaven Eleven filled my eyes with candy,
and you laughed at the slice of life before you,
seeing how opaque i am,
no wonder you beat to a different drum altogether
but you know,
i'm exposed,
you saw the double life before you,
as best as anyone has yet,
clearly evident
in the strain in my step today,
as i came in with the keeper today,
God bless you , Mae
Someone finally knows..............

*** this bud's for you, doll....(and i know you're a watching)************

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (08-19-2003 10:43 PM).]

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

1 posted 2003-08-17 12:06 PM

"and you laughed at the slice of life before you,
seeing how opaque i am,
no wonder you beat to a different
drum altogether
but you know,
i'm exposed,"

damn damn just damn girl !!!

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

2 posted 2003-08-17 01:26 AM

I second that damn.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2003-08-17 01:29 AM

You know I don't recall any poem holding me riveted like this did. If May is watching, and I bet she is, you have just made her job on earth worthwhile, and I really do hope she has one now at the "Heaven Eleven." Just excellent descriptive writing, and I now almost feel I know the isles down that 711. Great job!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

4 posted 2003-08-17 02:13 AM

nice bit of storytellin

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

5 posted 2003-08-17 02:17 AM

wonderful read n write,,,,

MoniDaPoet
Member

since 2003-08-14

Posts 73
California, USA

6 posted 2003-08-17 02:25 AM

Wow! I remember being able to write like this once and now I can't sleep thinking that I can't write like this anymore! Damn .... you are good to the tenth power!

I have only my genius to declare!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

7 posted 2003-08-17 02:38 AM

Jesus Michele . . .
loved the wordplay and Damn, you brought me down those aisles . . .
aisle 3 was creepy -
stay away from THAT one lol

You are an amazing poetess Lady
and an insightful one at that
not a Sy Kick or a Clare Voyant
but you see well enough . . .
so does Mae
brilliant
xxoo

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

8 posted 2003-08-17 06:23 AM

I love this!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

9 posted 2003-08-17 08:30 AM

Nice...James

Janette

Member Elite

since 2001-07-20

Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now

10 posted 2003-08-17 09:03 AM

I enjoyed this slice of your life ... now please hand me a chunk of that chocolate bar ... you did buy chocolate ... right? *wink*

Great write here.

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

bklynboy
Senior Member

since 2002-12-15

Posts 660
florida

11 posted 2003-08-19 10:41 PM

way too long....my attention span is limited to 20 lines or less....but I did take the time to read it all and it was good....but would I expect any less from you. But do me a favor....keep em short

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