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Open Poetry #27
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Jean's Offer
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Jean's Offer |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Buddy bought me the first of many beers and as I tightened a sore, tired hand around the tall, sleek bottle, ice crystals sliding down a smooth brown body, I thought of Dalal for the first time in hours. Funny how washing dishes had accomplished what a thousand deliberate distractions never came close to. Jean, looking fresh as if she’d been all evening on the porch swing, reappeared from among the blur of barely familiar faces and asked the last question I thought I’d hear that night, “Think you could give us a hand again tomorrow Mike?” But she didn’t wait for an answer. Rita called something and Jean just flitted away again, leaving me to think I should make a quick exit as I’d almost done so many hot, sweaty hours ago. “One more beer”, I said aloud but mostly to myself and turned to Buddy, asking if he was from Savannah. He replied that he wasn’t, adding nothing more, asking instead what I thought of Jean’s offer. “Tell ya the truth Buddy, I hadn’t thought much past this beer”, I answered and laughed. He continued, “Well you looked like you were drifting, or about to. Seems to me a place like this might not be too bad for you, at least for a while.” “Not like I’ve got anywhere else to be”, I mumbled. “What’s that Mike?”, Buddy asked. “Not like I’ve got anywhere else to be”, I repeated clearly. “Good, it’s decided then”, Buddy smiled and called across the bar, “Jean, you got a couple more cold ones? I think the kid here is going to take you up on your offer. Since, I'm somewhat responsible, I guess I'll be by and check on him, that way if he doesn't show up you won't be without some help. Now, Jean, you know he looks pretty shifty, so I'll wear comfortable shoes." There it was again, the tug of my chain being yanked. “Well, at least I know where I’ll be waking up tomorrow”, I thought and thanked Buddy for the beer. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Bravo Duncan... excellent |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Dang!! heh heh...good one Duncan.. may we see more please? ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You're getting good at the voices, Duncan. I can clearly hear two distinct characters talking...and you've stayed true to the story line.... Doggone, but it's good seeing you here. Must've gotten too hot to stay outside...  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I love it when our puppy gets his chain yanked and he coughs up another saga.  Dang, but yer good. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Thanks ya'll!!!!  <-----(how do ya like the new me?) |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Shhh....Kari, don't tell anyone but I had a little help with the "voices". |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
He continued, “Well you looked like you were drifting, or about to. Seems to me a place like this might not be too bad for you, at least for a while.” “Not like I’ve got anywhere else to be”, I mumbled. You are so delightful to read Duncan. Now I hate to be the one to break it to you... but I haven't noticed much of a change. It's all good!!  Here, have another beer on me! cheers!! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I used to be green and have big teeth, now I'm yellow and I spin!!!! See... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Oh, I get it, to go with your hair color? Lookin' good on you goober!! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Might I say that you are looking rather handsome with your recent make-over! Yellow becomes you! I'm actually much better looking than my picture "  "--but I guess you'll just have to take my word for it!  :Love your "raconteuring"! Warm hugs, EA |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Real life reflected in your words that make a person ponder...I like the way you make my mind see reality in such clarity...BRAVO!!! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good stuff |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
shhhh....OK, I won't! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Buddy bought me the first of many beers and as I tightened a sore, tired hand around the tall, sleek bottle, ice crystals sliding down a smooth brown body, I thought of Dalal for the first time in hours. Funny how washing dishes had accomplished what a thousand deliberate distractions never came close to. Jean, looking fresh as if she’d been all evening on the porch swing, reappeared from among the blur of barely familiar faces and asked the last question I thought I’d hear that night, “Think you could give us a hand again tomorrow Mike?” But she didn’t wait for an answer. ====================================== deliberate distractions IS THAT AN ALLITERATION I SEE?????? WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO  I knew it would happen sooner or later.. Im starting to rub off on you.   rofllove the imagery in this one...and the connection you are building in the characters.... Now....try keeping this one going so that they dont grow beards before the next time we see em again heh  |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed the Write! ARCTIC WIND |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
pure wicked excellence! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
AW is going through the dusty archives...bringing back up a lot of lovely, and beloved favorites... Ahhh, what a little dusting can do!  |
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