Jungle Mouth Rob (The Ballad Of Rob George)

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ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2003-06-19 09:37 PM

It was Monday morning, there was no warning
Robert George came in with sun glasses on.
said his eyes were bloodshot so I said "hey Rob
what the heck is goin on?"
He said to me through coffee stained teeth,
"I ain't too good don't feel like I should
but I'll last the day okay."

So we jumped in the van with the day all planned,
Rob smelled just like Johhny Walker,
Well, I let him drive then I realized
he probably could'nt walk proper.
I lost my nerve when he went over a curb,
scraped the underneath and rattled my teeth
the yellow light turned red again.

We pulled up hard in a customer's yard
Rob stopped just in front of the garage.
We took out the tools and fancy rules
and proceeded in with the entourage.
Well, Rob lost his way and in a drunken haze
walked into a closet started cussin God awful
came out with a scarf over his eyes.

I got him out of there cause the customer got scared
Rob went to the basement where holes could be bored
I was talking to the lady laying out the basics
when Rob drilled right up through the floor.
It was new hardwood all shiny and grooved
and up through the middle Rob drilled a little
hole not to be ignored.

Well, she let out a scream and I could'nt seem
to calm her down for the life of me.
Rob swaggered upstairs wood chips in his hair
sporting a grin like a geek.
Well, she turned with a spin and threw a book at him
without an inch to spare it breezed by his hair
and broke the glass in an old art print.

Rob was so suprised that he fell to one side
as the tip of his drill jammed the burglar alarm
and on came a siren that smothered her crying
and signaled the local Gendarmes.
First there was her siren then came their sirens
my head started to throb I got to looking at Rob
wondering if he had a cemetery plot

The woman was in grief with tears on her cheeks
when the police came in through the door.
Then Rob got nervous thinking things were serious
and dropped the drill on the floor.
Now how could you figure he'd jam up the trigger
standing right there in the middle of nowhere
over a small long haired dog.

Yes sir. the bit on that thing wound up to sing
got tangled in all that fur,
dog's skin tightened up I thought his eyes would pop
he wailed like a hound or a cur.
The drill came to a hum with the dog almost done
as Rob tripped himself and broke a ceramic shelf
before he unplugged the cord.

She was still crying while her dog was biting
the first cop that came along.
She looked at me and it was plain to see
I was out of there but mostly Rob
So with everything in hand we headed for the van
that Rob by and large had parked close to the garage
but it was nowhere to be seen.

Well, I looked at him and that coffee stained grin
told me we were still in a mess.
Rob not thinking clear didn't leave the van in gear
it rolled into the garage I guess.
I slowly peered in hoping damage would be slim
but there by a door was a model A Ford
with the van snug to it's side.

So I took a closer look my hopes clearly shook
the relic was a candy apple red
The van had rolled in and made a big dent
shaped just like a hog's head.
Well, it wasn't Rob I was watchin as he slipped in
the Van to correct the worst of the mess
as he backed the van up in drive.

Yes sir, Rob pushed that car into a barn door
where the handle would break out a light
he finally backed up got the van bumper stuck
under the car fender to the right.
Yep, Rob pulled that off and then got it caught
on an electric light cord plugged in of course
that was hanging over an open gas can.

BLAMMM!!!!!11 WHOOSH BOOM!!!

Tell me now Jungle Mouth Rob
why'd come to work like a drunken slob?
My life in heaven seems so blue
cause I see my wife at home writin songs with you.
From this cloud I'm floating on
there's no way to tell you you're still writing them wrong
well I might be an angel but to tell you the truth
if I could go back I'd write a song about Mack to strangle you

The best teachers have the biggest ears

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2003-06-19 09:45 PM

Hopefully, this dude never...repeat...NEVER
drives again....

Klutz with a Killer K....

a chuckle of a write Eric...thanx..

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2003-06-19 10:44 PM

LOL...Had a few of these guys show up back when I was doing the landscape work...its not cool when the employees play the fool

your rhymes rock E-babes...
this is clever...witty and cute.
Nice to see you having fun with lyric and verse. Good to see ya back here with us.
Hope youre not working too hard.

No matter what the differences
No matter what the cost
When words become our weapons ...
All that's beautiful is lost.

DeVante'

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2003-06-20 12:11 PM

Eric, I loved this....you kept me interested through all of it. I felt like I was skipping along as I was reading it. LOL The rhyme was marvelous, too!! I sure am glad that you're posting more, but it's still not enough, Sir!!