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Open Poetry #27
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five years after forever
| Open Poetry #27 |
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five years after forever |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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June again the year of some Hebrew lord two-thousand three twenty years after we slept in a sixty-nine Ford pickup at the river's edge two cigarettes and Dire Straits for breakfast and you your head hung halfway in the wind hair streaming blue eyes hiding behind lids never got things right the first time do you remember that Queen song? that played on the turntable forty-five on repeat over and over while you took a shower and I sat on the sofa? June again five years after forever still the good things that happen and there's no one to tell still drive with windows down on misty days you're still eighteen in a white sun dress still thirty-one in cap and gown Sidhartha said this would be Nirvana but I've lost all desire and I can't say it is just better to be alone |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Dire Straits for breakfast and you Enjoyed your poem, and that line most of all. Some days I forget to remember, like you said, maybe it's better that way. Thanks for this~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
actually, this is the verse that pinned me: still the good things that happen and there's no one to tell to me? That just speaks volumes of loneliness and longing. Made me cry, you did. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I agree with serenity... those 3 lines tell a lifetime... the life after... when life goes on but... Geesh, nephew leather feathers... it's good to read you! *S* |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
June again five years after forever still the good things that happen and there's no one to tell Oh goodness...this is so sad. I hope you will soon have someone to tell of the good things that happen. I don't think "it's just better to be alone", either. Hugs to you  Ethel |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Dire Straits, Black Jack and a fine cuban for breakfast....this isn't the 'hawk' I know....did you wreck your bike? You weren't wearing a helmut were you?!!.. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
The whole poem touched me...but the final line "just better to be alone" oh boy do I know that. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
gritty real feel to this...and not much I can say except that it well done and reads so well, I have had to visit it three times so far..... good stuff... and heartfelt. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
gawd, it's good to see you! |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
And you Dixie, and YOu!  Thank you Mr. Hair... I've seen you around the boards a bit and you seem to be one of the gang but I fear we haven't been introduced? I'm curious regarding the meaning of your unusual name. Paula, thank you very much. Senor Toe -- Buzzz man... it's true that I've spent most of my money on motorcycles, jack dannels, ceegars, women, rock and roll -- and the rest of it I probably wasted... but -- there's more to life -- not much -- but more -- like trucks, and well, other stuff..... ? I've heard? garysgirl -- thank you for your sentiment -- but this is my choice -- and the better one. Auntie -- thank you , thank you, thank you -- always nice to go where somebody knows me HuggsZzzzz blaze star -- sorry I didn't mean to make you cry -- I was writing so I wouldn't? anniversaries come hard sometimes don't they? Blues -- it's only better for those whom it is better... thankyou [This message has been edited by Local Rebel (06-14-2003 11:41 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
....spoken like a true Sultan of Swing  |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
With all that's already been said, what's left for me to say? I loved it. Now, you have me thinking about forty-fives....and eight track tapes. HaHa ...never ALONE Rebel...you've got us! )))HUGS((( Tima C. If you cant get rid of the skeletons in your closet, you'd best teach them how to dance. George Bernard Shaw |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
*smiling*@nephew leather feathers... somehow...if you are auntie's nephew...then I feel really old...rofg but your words are edgy and sharp as ever, very powerfully written... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
LocalRebel~ A dynamic read of raw emotion~ I would confess to tearing up just a bit~ *Huglets* to you~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Gawd!! This is SO good! Damn.... Sorry...kinda made me speechless. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Rebel: goodness I am holding back serious tears here . . . You know what got me? the parts about seeing her in a sundress and cap and gown goodness xxoo |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
still  |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Yeah Deer -- I'll take 'love over gold' any day... thanks much Sharp as ever beanie baby? Heh... I was never that sharp... lol Marge -- thank you Enchantress -- I ranked a Gawd? really? I'm speechless! Thanks.... littlewing -- weep not -- I consider myself very fortunate -- very fortunate indeed, and now -- I'll never see her any other way... eh? dix -- if she was around to say it she'd kick our tails and tell us all to get over it all ready -- life's short and you're a long time dead... she proved it...  |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Reb, this touched me so much, I read it again. So, back to the top with you.  Hugs Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-20-2003 02:52 AM).] |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
ok this one of your finest pieces I have read....it's raw with emotion and a longing for the past - or is that you are just remembering some good times and good memories....either way, it's a brilliant write from you  Roniece Dawson-Bruce |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yep, that's what she'd say |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
"Two cigarettes and Dire Straits for breakfast", sounds like you had a tatse of heaven and now you want to return. Brilliant and real. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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