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Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2003-06-18 01:59 PM

{I want to hold your edges}
        There are times I cry out:

I have learned to piece
      t o g e t h e r  scraps
build    rocks into intricate gardens

Today I remembered your smile
     I saved your writings       in indigo bottles
the words        were clouds swept away
this lasted hours

{as in the world; the shadow
of wings, stir my eyes   covering
           stone}

The fall is still --
     broken from my palms--
amber and ruby    skies
tempt         sunsets

Once we were lovers
whispering the edges

In deeper corners   of my paintings
three      black stones
                     love
faith
            hope

which have I lost?
          pretending we could

{again}-- dance

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine

I will remember you

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2003-06-18 02:05 PM

Greeneyes
Good question, good write, good read.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

2 posted 2003-06-18 02:23 PM

There you are!

I've missed these little novellas of yours.
Each one takes the reader away for awhile.

Good write!

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

3 posted 2003-06-18 02:58 PM

Glory Hallelujah! We got Greeneyes happenin'!

....and this one another in a series of lessons she teaches on how to create an effective poem.

Can't decide which of the creative new tools of expression I like best in this one, but like the rest of your poetry, I'm going to study it, just to make sure I didn't miss anything.

I want more of you...got to figure out how to get you to post more often!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

4 posted 2003-06-18 03:01 PM

Lauren,
It seems there is already healing in these words. This is one of your best and I loved it.

&

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-06-18 03:41 PM

Lauren, I love every one of your poems I've ever read, and I will most likely say this again....this one is my favorite and I'm going to keep it. It's so beautiful with color, Lady.

Hey, I miss you, too.....

Hugs

Ethel

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (06-18-2003 03:45 PM).]

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

6 posted 2003-06-18 03:44 PM

"Once we were lovers
whispering the edges"

Glad I peeked in here.
I'll need to read this some more.
But so far, I like it.

Kraw'

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

7 posted 2003-06-18 04:32 PM

Lauren, please tell us the secret of your perfectly formed, jaw dropping poems please. every time, the way you structure the whole thing has me so drawn in, so delicate, so just right. and the words, i sometimes just dont know how to reply. dreamlike, haunting, but so so real.

we're all in awe of you y know, and wish you'd post more often!

much love,
gemma
xxxxx

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

8 posted 2003-06-18 04:57 PM

Lauren's back!--but for how long?

You just keep us waiting and waiting for the indigo expressions from your eloquent pen... but they are ALWAYS worth the wait!

Huggums,
Linda

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

9 posted 2003-06-18 05:17 PM

Lauren,  have missed this from you...so many
lines that are exceptional...hard to pick a
fave...

Perhaps these are my favorite:

The fall is still --
     broken from my palms--
amber and ruby    skies
tempt         sunsets

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

10 posted 2003-06-18 05:36 PM

" pretending we could

{again}-- dance"

Yes..Lauren is back!
Your words have been missed dear lady.
This is awe imspiring.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

11 posted 2003-06-18 05:44 PM

"In the glow ..."
   ... stunning!!

        Walls are a necessity of life ...
            they help us learn to climb.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

12 posted 2003-06-18 05:45 PM

Hold on to all those paintings Lauren.
You write the aching out so vividly.
You certainly haven't lost your touch,
and it is wonderful to read you here.

Big hug~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

13 posted 2003-06-18 06:43 PM

     I saved your writings       in indigo bottles
the words        were clouds swept away
this lasted hours

{as in the world; the shadow
of wings, stir my eyes   covering
           stone}

The fall is still --
     broken from my palms--
amber and ruby    skies
tempt         sunsets

Once we were lovers
whispering the edges

In deeper corners   of my paintings
three      black stones
                     love
faith
            hope

===================================

theres me butterfly baby

As I read this I realized I was holding my breath ... your poetry transcends the reader into a place of surreal serenity...allowing us to exhale and float on your words...on your every exquisite word.
So good to read you again me girlie...dont stay away so long...I breath better when I read ya

No matter what the differences
No matter what the cost
When words become our weapons ...
All that's beautiful is lost.

DeVante'

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

14 posted 2003-06-18 06:57 PM

Lauren......your words are like floating on fluttering silk...so deeply expressive.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

15 posted 2003-06-18 07:02 PM

enjoyed

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

16 posted 2003-06-18 11:00 PM

Missed your writes..welcome home and stay awhile

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

17 posted 2003-06-18 11:03 PM

Good to read you again.
The title captured me...and I am never disappointed. Wonderful. TD

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

18 posted 2003-06-19 02:39 AM

wow, a great write here L

missed you lots

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

19 posted 2003-06-19 05:56 AM

lauren,brilliant write.
Love the amber and ruby skies.

perfect words.

Thank you for them.

Goldenrose.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

20 posted 2003-06-19 08:03 AM

very nice to read you again.... you always amaze me..and I always walk away thinking...

hugs to you...just because I am pleased to see you here again

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

21 posted 2003-06-19 02:05 PM

A pleasure to read...one of my favorites...James

rosepetals25

Member Elite

since 2000-05-31

Posts 3076
PA

22 posted 2003-07-02 10:18 AM

You are so amazing chickie. Your words always envoke such emotion. I never have the words to tell you how much I love your poetry.

Tara

papabear
Member

since 1999-09-17

Posts 102
Atlanta, GA

23 posted 2003-07-02 04:21 PM

A pleasure to read...

BloomingRose
Member Elite

since 2000-08-09

Posts 3092
Florida

24 posted 2003-07-02 04:44 PM

Very creative, beautifully written poem.

Deb

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

25 posted 2003-07-02 04:46 PM

Once we were lovers
whispering the edges

So glad this popped up again...it's lovely, Lauren...so wistful and elegant...

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

26 posted 2003-07-02 11:25 PM

A stunning write Lauren.

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