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Open Poetry #27
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Just fine
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Just fine |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods 
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JUST FINE I get these thoughts And feelings Thinking I must be insane But in a mad world Being sane is enough alone To make you crazy Yet I keep on living Just for the hell of it Just to show the suckers And tell you when you ask -I’ll do just fine But if you peek Through the keyhole You’ll see me in a corner Pulling my hair out Compressing my distress Into a single low- voiced shout And if you confront me The next day I’ll warmly laugh And serve you the lie -I’m just fine You’re caught in the crossfire Of rights and wrongs You try to keep your head down And not get shoot As you hear the sergeant scream -Move on! Gets hit in the chest By words From a sharpened tongue -You got spots in your face, haha! -And your teeth aren’t all that straight Battered and bruised You try to get on your feet Then, whiz! Another grazing comment Hits your head You’re down again Lying seemingly dead on the ground You can barely make out a voice in the haze -Take two! Get up! It’s time to face another day And in Iraq One of kind old Uncle Sam’s Little toys Is soaring in the sky An ack- ack gun sounds And someone’s father and husband Pays for the presidents crime It's a beautiful world Back in Ohio His wife and child Receives a letter telling why Daddy haven’t called home yet But not why he had to die And after a while She comforts her worried family And speak a little lie -I’ll be just fine On TV is a broadcast From Hong Kong Where an earthquake survivor Is gently smiling As the reporter ask -Are you ok? -I’m just fine, he says Turns his face away And cries You see my friend You lose the battles And you lose the war You lose your loved ones And all your friends You lose your dignity And self- respect You lose everything And all you want The second, the moment You lose yourself And it’s not easy staying you When you are not How they want to Armed with caustic appeals They wait for a chance To stage a coup And forge you into You’ll do just fine |
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| © Copyright 2003 Jay Hartson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
got some grit and some ideology in this one... it reads well.. I did get a bit lost in the transition from the first set of thougths to the next.... but it fell together for me and I saw how it all related as I read on... nice piece of work. [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (06-17-2003 06:56 PM).] |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods |
I knew the reader would be tossed a bit back and forth on this one, but I tried somehow to glue it all together with the ending. Thanks for your time and oppinion. ~Broken~ |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Well, it's a good poem, you've managed to throw in a lot of issues in there and put it together well. I really enjoyed this piece  |
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topsyturveychick Member
since 2003-01-19
Posts 57Bris,QLD,Aus |
"And in Iraq One of kind old Uncle Sam’s Little toys Is soaring in the sky An ack- ack gun sounds And someone’s father and husband Pays for the presidents crime It's a beautiful world Back in Ohio His wife and child Receives a letter telling why Daddy haven’t called home yet But not why he had to die And after a while She comforts her worried family And speak a little lie -I’ll be just fine " I think that this is a very realistic view on whats happening in the world today. This segment in itself is an awesome poem. I really enjoyed reading Just Fine. Great poem...thankyou. I asked God how much he loved me... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
pretty cool write |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Broken; this is the best piece I have read today But in a mad world Being sane is enough alone To make you crazy COMPLETELY awesome insight xxoo |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
And it’s not easy staying you When you are not... how fitting for my day I enjoyed the mix of thoughts and felt for those you told about M |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods |
Thank you all for those lovely replies, you made my day (and/or night) so much better. -Littlewing..Hendrix fan? So am I, a huge one Another thank you.. Such griefs with such men well agree, |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
heheheh Broken . . . see where I live? HUGE Fan - very cool me toooo xxoo |
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Forgotenandgone Member
since 2003-05-07
Posts 52NC |
i can relate to that way to much...you write really well... _______________________________________ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
No one ever said it was going to be easy. To accept the challenge of life as you mention is a tough job. But, a rewarding job when you touch the heart of someone else, if that wasn't impossible then there would be no real reason to be just fine. I love the reasoning in this piece and I can relate, maybe from a different angle but I can relate.....Sometimes I'm just fine and sometimes I'm not.......People are people and live and let live needs to be practised more than ever. Regards Eric The best teachers have the biggest ears |
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Forgotenandgone Member
since 2003-05-07
Posts 52NC |
I get these thoughts And feelings Thinking I must be insane But in a mad world Being sane is enough alone To make you crazy Yet I keep on living Just for the hell of it Just to show the suckers And tell you when you ask -I’ll do just fine But if you peek Through the keyhole You’ll see me in a corner Pulling my hair out Compressing my distress Into a single low- voiced shout And if you confront me The next day I’ll warmly laugh And serve you the lie -I’m just fine I loved these lines i think it was because i could relate to them the most ive felt like this alot and lie this same lie |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
. . . this needs to breathe . . . |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Your name on the site shows that your someone with a lot of emotion! ARCTIC WIND |
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