cheap 50 cent bubble gum..

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Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2003-06-16 02:32 PM

You're like an over chewed
Discarded piece of gum
That sticks to the bottom
Of my soul...
You lost your flavour
Quick like
Cheap 50 cent bubble gum
After you left
After you played with
The frequency of my fragile state of mind
You knew I knew
Right away
That our friendship
Would be like a revolving door
And..
Just like a discarded piece of gum
I grow tired
Of you tempting my tastebuds
With your sugar coated promises
of long lasting bubbles
When you can't even last for more than 3 minutes...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

1 posted 2003-06-16 02:37 PM

now this is one way i never thought of looking at it,, very good write..

QjQ

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

2 posted 2003-06-16 02:40 PM

Nice and just the right amount of venom..i likes it

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2003-06-16 02:44 PM

Ohhh...would it be wrong of me to say
this bites?

LOL...

good write, m'dear, good rant!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2003-06-16 02:59 PM

nicely done... an indictment indeed one would not want to be on the receiving end of...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

5 posted 2003-06-17 02:25 AM

Kris:

I didnt even need to read that far before I started to smile:

You're like an over chewed
Discarded piece of gum
That sticks to the bottom
Of my soul...

awesome lines
xxoo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2003-06-17 02:30 AM

yeah!

Laqe
Member

since 2003-06-15

Posts 72
Michigan, US

7 posted 2003-06-17 02:43 AM

I really like this. The imagery was cute and the message was clear. Nice job.

.Echo.

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

8 posted 2003-06-17 02:48 AM

Geez...I feel like I know enough of those to fill a gumball machine!!

Thanks for the smile....

Great punch poem!!

Tima C.

If you cant get rid of the skeletons in your closet, you'd best teach them how to dance. George Bernard Shaw

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

9 posted 2003-06-17 10:08 PM

(big hugggssssssss) Oh Kristen, this is a very heartaching write, dearest friend, I hope all is well as I too hate that sharp crunch biting that kind of gum that almost scrapes the roof of your mouth in a way the scar always remains! (sad sigh) I send angel hugs your way, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kristen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

topsyturveychick
Member

since 2003-01-19

Posts 57
Bris,QLD,Aus

10 posted 2003-06-17 10:19 PM

Wow...never really viewed it in this way. Great. Guys are sticky, tasteless, pieces of chewed up gum. Ehehe. I like it lots.

I asked God how much he loved me...
He said this much...
And streched out his arms and Died.

**Sunshine**

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

11 posted 2003-06-17 10:41 PM

Loved the analogy! Sounds like my ex-husband. Great work!

Patricia

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

12 posted 2008-02-21 02:34 PM

Yes it is away I havent looked at it either!

ARCTIC WIND

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