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christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

0 posted 2003-06-16 02:01 AM

  ballpoint calligraphy
  ---------------------


  i hope your pen fails you--midway through sentences
  leaving broken analogies to taper off
  in bleached blanks, where your brilliance fades
  with clever catchphrases
  running off cold ink
  and the most insincere of all inspiration ..

  because this is nothing more than unprophetic.
  chickenscratch scriptures with
  revisions seeping through scrabble metaphors
  and kaleido-images, serving
  as just another playonwords
  brinking margins,
  and the avant garde you never were ..

  but perhaps, in this drab-monochromatic world
  where pens produce the poet and
  gaudy fonts feed the starving critic,
  your bravado slips off silver tongues
  as something beyond poetic.
  and you grace these lines--with the glory
  of un-nailed palms

  but i can see right past your roughdraft heroics ..
  nothing more than
  ballpoint calligraphy--at its finest.
  misleading green eyes
  and artless minds
  to believe in poetry
  that is imperfect enough, to slide as masterp e i ces

[This message has been edited by christian (06-16-2003 02:08 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2003-06-16 02:07 AM

damn! *sitting here in awe*

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

2 posted 2003-06-16 02:19 AM

Jesus! I'm also at a loss for words..oh the venom of this..damn! I loved this

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

3 posted 2003-06-16 03:13 AM

i've made two people say damn--already. still
haven't contemplated if thats a good thing
or bad. ha.

thanks y'all.

--chris

[This message has been edited by christian (06-16-2003 05:31 PM).]

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

4 posted 2003-06-16 02:15 PM

ok, I read you when you started, and knew you had potential....you have reached my expectations and surpassed them....this is incredible......*standing to applaud*

ps... I know my poetry is 'self' centered, but this very poem is why I cannot write one until I have lived it, and then obey the urge to make it come to life on paper with my pen...or so I hope this is what my poetry speaks...anyway...
great write!!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2003-06-16 02:20 PM

Fantastic write!!
So good to read you here today Chris.
You have indeed come a long way.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2003-06-16 02:21 PM

Christian, I'm noting some growth here.
Good job, young man...Very good.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

7 posted 2003-06-16 02:58 PM

Impressive work christian~
Love the cutting edge, and the way you let her rip!!!

We all go about things differently,
and you really took off on this, in a good way.

*applause*

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-06-16 03:01 PM

uh huh... honesty with a bite.. nicely done Christian.. got some grit in this one you did..

nice work.

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

9 posted 2003-06-16 05:29 PM

just for the record, this isn't targetting
the majority of writers here, or for that
matter, any true-form writer.

just from an experience i had to let
diffuse on paper. so,

excuse the unbridled, hulk-like
emotions. and, again, thanks for taking
the time to read it and dropping the
comments. i appreciate the feedback.

--chris.

christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

10 posted 2003-06-23 02:38 AM

beans: potential, everybody has that. thats such
an over-the-counter compliment, but i think i'll
take it. thanks for making me smile. :smirk:

[This message has been edited by christian (06-23-2003 02:44 AM).]

RedTapePoetry
Junior Member

since 2003-02-02

Posts 19

11 posted 2003-06-23 03:26 AM

You do have potential, it gushes all over your words. How old are you? I can recall coming across a post where you said you were around 18 years old and if that's the case, your poetry is so mature for your age. Although this is more intense than your usual stuff with a little more spunk and teethgritting, I still enjoy it, as with all your other pieces. I hope to read more from you, thanks for the inspiration!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095