Open Poetry #27 |
I Am ( challenge ) |
Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
it's not that good, but o well....it prolly isn't even the right thing, but heck i tried I am a wondering mind, and the tear in your eye I wonder if the role i take on is to great I hear the rain falling around me I see myself dancing in the streets I want to see your eyes look into mine and mean it I am a wondering mind, and the tear in your eye I pretend that you care when i am crying I feel scared when the ghosts touch my arm in the dark I touch the waters of the nile I worry that you think of me never I cry because you'll never know I am a wondering mind, and the tear in your eye I understand feelings are a thing of my past right now I say I am a force to be reckoned with I dream my hand in yours, if only for a minute I try to make you see, yet you fail to look up I hope you will never understand, as there will be more the discover I am a wondering mind and the tear in your eye *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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© Copyright 2003 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Oh Yeah Riley: Exactly the right thing...done very well. You ARE the fragile and the gentle...spoken well in your chosen words. Great! TD |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
yes I agree this is right..but you know there is no right or wrong with poetry or your feelings dear poet... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
"I am a wondering mind, and the tear in your eye" Love this, Riley. So glad you did one of these. I enjoyed the peek inside of 'you'. Hugs, ~Vicky "My friends are my estate." |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
You're wrong! This is better than good. ~wranx "You shouldn't be surprised at what happens next" |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
great write! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Riley, of course you have done it write right? lol I loved this: I try to make you see, yet you fail to look up met the challenge indeed xxoo |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Very good, Riley... My mind plays tricks at times; I thought at first "wondering" should be "wandering" and then I thought - no, it most definitely should be "wondering"! Enjoyed the insight of you very much! |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
thank you all so much! riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
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