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Open Poetry #27
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Twilight Strikes ( Duet with Toad)
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Twilight Strikes ( Duet with Toad) |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
In the half-light, the twilight those moments before the night he slithered, methodically out of sight. Hiss laid low, Eve’s bibelot blew kisses at each shadow tasting air, measuring the fatal blow Unseen and unseeing, legless being, Unhearing the sitter's deep voice singing Slither waits as the sitter is fly feeding Tongue tracing, heat pits placing both gauge the prey within a tasting marking distance to coiled embracing Somewhere distant a storm begins to boil And there closer in shadow forms a coil The diamond dragon’s quicksilver kiss Perfection wrapped within explosiveness Floating feathers and talons in the dim skies Illuminating lighting reveals all to search eyes The would be prince spies dragon in his creep And finds salvation in a single leap Coils unwind to grasp nothing but air Which from emptiness now talons are there The raptor finds its target in the strafe And the warty one, at least for now, is safe The morals in our tale are simply this, That snakes who aim for Toads will often miss And stealth in deadly deeds may be a boon But cannot better wisdom in the Gloom Gloom/Toad It was a pleasure to add my words to this work and I wish to thank Toad for his toleration with my slow progress in completing this |
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| © Copyright 2003 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Bravo you two!! Great write. Chris  "There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart." |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
alot of good lines..but I especially like the moral: The morals in our tale are simply this, That snakes who aim for Toads will often miss And stealth in deadly deeds may be a boon But cannot better wisdom in the Gloom nicely done M |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Really, very nicely crafted Not familiar with either of you, but like what I see here Ed *stomping to the Library* |
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Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
Truly remarkable. The images, the personification, alliteration, in fact, I think I'm going to send this on to our own Janet Marie - who would spank us all if she missed out on this piece of poetry confection Thank you both very much, gentle persons. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Professor and Toad, Congratulations to you both, very enjoyable. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Professor and Toad. This is a very good write by you two. I enjoyed this duet, as well as all the others you folks are doing.  Hugs  Ethel |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
In the half-light, the twilight those moments before the night he slithered, methodically out of sight. Hiss laid low, Eve’s bibelot blew kisses at each shadow tasting air, measuring the fatal blow Unseen and unseeing, legless being, Unhearing the sitter's deep voice singing Slither waits as the sitter is fly feeding Tongue tracing, heat pits placing both gauge the prey within a tasting marking distance to coiled embracing =================================== Ahhhh the moth is happy...just look at the rhymes and vocab verbiage, the word play and cadence...the imagery... the edgy surreal theme...excellent dueting of talents poet sirs...well done!! Soleil .. thanks for the note... now what was that about wanting to be spanked? LOL  "I'm good at two things and this is the other one." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
slow is sometimes the best way to go...roasting in its juice that way....excellent write! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Excellant work!!  Susan C. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Prof and Toad...an excellent duet!! |
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Toad Member
since 2002-06-16
Posts 161 |
I feel I should put the record straight - the Professor wrote all the good bits, I just limped along struggling to keep up, though I must admit I enjoyed the much-needed exercise. Thanks for putting up with me PG |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Wonderfully done, you two. I enjoyed this. Hugs, ~Vicky "So here I am with pockets full of good intentions |
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