Open Poetry #27 |
Monday Afternoon (unfinished, i think) |
collarbone_girl Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45Wonderland |
we walked through a feild and turned it into a majical desert our conversation drifting through dreams, realities, and general riduculousness occasionaly interupted by a whole hearted belly laugh that sang of a forever alliance strolling through our graveyard picking out perfect photo poses of cracked stones and wisteria with the odd crow (just for effect) down through the sun dappled road into our woods following each twist of pine covered tree shaded path that would eventually lead to our childhood with such time honoured precision we could do it with our eyes closed hopping over each pot hole laces undone and hair in the breeze (just like little girls) we sat by the brook listening to the water tell thousands of stories of our past soaking up nostalgia too saturated in memory to speak our grown up shoulders naked to the sun and our child like smiles dancing with each other stepping on the old tree we used to shelter beneath from the rain the weather long since beaten it to the ground sitting by the water, our own pretend lake in a swarm of dragonflies and swans then the slow trudge home singing our favourite songs stopping to pick buttercups and daisies playing on the swings and serenading the sun. This Cool Night Air Is Curious... |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
a peaceful scene.. to the top with you Late at night you'll come crawling back |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh, the images in this are great. You need to run it through a spell-check, because the spelling errors kept pulling my attention away from what you were saying. Except for the spelling, I have no complaints-I love the day you've painted. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
It is more than finished enough. If you feel it needs more, then by all means add to it. For my money, this is very nicely done, and I look forwardf to reading more of your muse. We see the light of those |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Pleasant reading experience! Very enjoyable indeed. "soaking up nostalgia too saturated in memory to speak." --one of many special and memorable passages in this wonderful poem that you have written! Warm welcoming hugs, Earth Angel |
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