Served Doubt (A duet with Riley)

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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-07-14 02:34 PM

Angst
                    grip my mind and twist
  as if a screw top to be removed
                    and the contents poured
  into clear glass
                    no bubbled fizz
  its flat
                    now revealed

  as tears to lie
                    their clear liquid served on

a plate to be filled by

                    this,

no simple empty state of mind,
                    that leaves hunger in wake
of each hard swallowed gulp
                    for air

for understanding
                     and love

tasteless
                     without the bitter salt

of my fears.

                     and the realization of
my tears

wept on the lonely street
                     where a sad story once stood told

as foot tapping impatience
                               tipped a rippled wave of you

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (07-14-2003 03:13 PM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2003-07-14 02:36 PM

I knew when the two of you finally quit pussy-footing around, we'd have something grand to read...

and I wasn't wrong! HA!

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (07-14-2003 02:36 PM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2003-07-14 02:38 PM

Cpat,
A road full of forks and branches, enjoyed.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

3 posted 2003-07-14 02:40 PM

I enjoyed this. 'no bubbled fizz'--that's it, all right.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

4 posted 2003-07-14 02:44 PM

loved the twists and turns, great write

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

5 posted 2003-07-14 02:59 PM

enojoyed this duet very much, you two have done a wonderful job

Charisma

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

6 posted 2003-07-14 03:06 PM

Ahh yes, the've done it again...

Don't it allways seem to go,
that you don't know what you've got till' it's gone
-counting crows

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

7 posted 2003-07-14 03:10 PM

...for understanding and love
tasteless without the bitter salt
of my fears...

Many sighs. Wonderfully written...both of you.

Patricia

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2003-07-14 03:13 PM

"as foot tapping impatience
tipped a rippled wave of you"

YES!! YES!! Another fantastic duet
from two of Passions finest!
Very much enjoyed the read!
~Smiles & Hugs to you both~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
you haven't been listening.~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

9 posted 2003-07-14 03:52 PM

Ron and Riley,

Great job! But I expected nothing less.

Susan

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

10 posted 2003-07-14 04:27 PM

Awesome write you two

tasteless
without the bitter salt

of my fears.

I love these lines . . .
amazing . . .
xxoo

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

11 posted 2003-07-15 11:56 PM

The rippled wave works for me!

Somehow, it makes the feeling last longer.

Nice writing you two~

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

12 posted 2003-07-16 01:53 AM

I loved this twisted meandering angsty write.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

13 posted 2003-07-16 01:55 AM

a great read!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

14 posted 2003-07-16 01:56 AM

Ron and Riley...this is wonderful!
You two make a great team. Beautiful duet.
Hugs to you both,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes
[This message has been edited by vlraynes (07-16-2003 01:56 AM).]

JaiOfHeaven
Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 207
California, Usa

15 posted 2003-07-16 05:18 AM

Makes me wanna see what would happen if I did a duet with someone. The way the mind's would intwine....it seemed awfully beautiful. Not to mention...fun. It was an awesome write..nice on both your parts.

Jai

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

16 posted 2003-07-16 08:13 AM

fantastic merge

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

17 posted 2003-07-16 08:29 AM

If I can think of something intelligent to say later, I'll let you know.... but it's five in the morning right now, so suffice it to say that I liked it very much.

Kielo

I'll never know the cost, but all of Him is more than enough for all of me....

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

18 posted 2003-07-16 08:39 AM

Dynamic duo...blended so well together..

believe in what your heart feels...

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

19 posted 2003-07-17 09:50 AM

enjoyed

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