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Open Poetry #27

My favorite veiw

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-07-13 10:10 PM

The veiw is
open to a breeze,
you can see
the whole river from there.

Sailboats gliding
'cross the water like
feather, atop wind.
It looks like
origami
swans searching
for crumbs..

and if you turn
your head you
can see the church with
the tall white steeple.
The long street that
passes through an old downtown.

I can't really think
of a better place for
a bench, than here.

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

1 posted 2003-07-14 12:23 PM

"I can't really think
of a better place for
a bench, than here."

indeed, sounds like a perfect spot. enjoyed the view.

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

2 posted 2003-07-14 12:27 PM

perfect view
can't think of a better first read from you

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-21

Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

3 posted 2003-07-14 12:47 PM

again, your writing is delightful -- the final stroph is so strong... there are things that could use some pruning here -- but I wouldn't venture it in open Meghan -- if you really want constructive critique try posting in Critical Analysis...

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

4 posted 2003-07-14 12:50 PM

YES! A bench.
Something so simple, yet many a thought pondered while sitting on a bench.

Wonderful write!

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