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Open Poetry #27
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Dying too Soon
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Dying too Soon |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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I look in the rear view mirror seeing only the images of the past caught in a time slip as the hollow reflections of what was, race past and overtake me. The green of envy mingles with the black of despair as I come to know I cannot be what I desire and I cannot turn my head to see the future until the past is dead and buried, gone forever. How could it be the laughing child caught in the shadow of adoration of you could come to this? My bones are weary and my mind faint with the memories of my shadowed self; shadowed by the glory of your countenance never able to achieve what you have done yet dreaming all the same Until dying too soon I look in the rear view mirror and see the shadows of my history racing me catching me beating me repeating me. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
Kethry...Such an intense, powerful poem. The way you wrote this just speaks to the heart of my imaginings. Wonderful writing. ***Ivy Rose |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
such an intense poem...look no more to the rear of things, but to the beginning of things yet unknown..bath in the delight of all which has helped to make you you a most significant part of our lives, corner stone of all foundations...there is a perfect plan for all of us, and we all connect, one to another...in that, we are relatives with all...we are the voice of mankind...the heart and soul of life... Thank you for sharing. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
such an intense poem...look no more to the rear of things, but to the beginning of things yet unknown..bath in the delight of all which has helped to make you you a most significant part of our lives, corner stone of all foundations...there is a perfect plan for all of us, and we all connect, one to another...in that, we are relatives with all...we are the voice of mankind...the heart and soul of life... Thank you for sharing. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I cannot be what I desire and I cannot turn my head to see the future until the past is dead and buried, gone forever. These words were mine for far too long... and the truth is, the past can never be gone forever... what we are is a product of those steps before... we don't get to erase. But we can strip it of its power... if we have help... the right help. It seems both of us are in reflective moods... I'm only a hug away, lady. Excellent, powerful work my friend... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You actually got my heart beating faster! I darn near looked behind me to see if the painful memories of the past were going to bite me and bring me down again! Powerfully descriptive writing! Warm hugs, EA |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Kethry - I don't know what to say about this writing except you're amazing with the words... BC |
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altoladybj Member
since 2003-06-24
Posts 79Pennsylvania |
Kethry, you really have a way with words,this has been a great read. Thanks for sharing, Beverly |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Beloved one, what is it that makes a piece of writing stand out as exceptional? Personally I don't know what the magic ingredient is, or else I would be able to produce such stunning work myself. However I can’t and you can and YOU do, consistently, continually and delightfully. This again is another of your hard hitting and powerful writes, without fail you are inarguably the most gifted of us two. If I didn’t adore you half as much as I do, I could conceive a jealousy of your ability, however you know that I do adore you and I can never be jealous. A candle might just as easily be jealous of the sun because it gives off more light. So I say simply this beloved one YOU are incredible, and I love this demonstration of your artistry and ability. There see how much better I am at writing comments than ‘Pudding Top’ is? Don’t you just love me too? I wonder if she'll murder me now? If I'm heard of no more, tell them all that 'Pudding Top' has done me in When tears fall as they sometimes do Look inside and seek hopes view Don’t imagine the tears will stay Soon enough they will fade away When hearts hurt as they sometimes can You wonder if it’s the fault of every man But soon the memory passes by And you’re left alone to wonder why? When words cut as they have before Just pick yourself off the floor They are just words they can’t harm you Even though you think they do When wounds weep with hurt and pain Don’t despair to try again Give more than you have ever before And you’ll find you’ll receive much more When tears fall as they will now and then Know that your smile will come again You don’t give up, don’t yield at all Inside your heart is love’s true call Marsha   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds but I can face the future with courage brave and bold Footprints In My Heart Kethry [This message has been edited by Marsha (07-05-2003 08:03 AM).] |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
it is interesting how pervasive these feelings are in modern society..... and yet I think it is acute to our generation somehow -- that we see it more as an affliction than who we are -- I'm still trying to internalize that myself... wonderful write ... thank you Kethry -- I think I'll go do that brake job I've been putting off now |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is a powerful write .... our temptation to look backwards is always punished by haunting images ... better to plant our feet firmly in the present, looking forward, trusting ourselves to build our future, moment after moment, letting go of the past. Beautiful poem. Love, Margherita  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
How could it be the laughing child caught in the shadow of adoration of you could come to this? My bones are weary and my mind faint with the memories of my shadowed self; shadowed by the glory of your countenance never able to achieve what you have done yet dreaming all the same =============================== I first started to type that you couldnt know how that verse effected me..but then I caught myself..for of course you do...you lived it too........ so much I could say...but then you just already know.  So good to see you back in the blue Keth-girlie. Well ... OK ... but you have to wash it first. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
ouch. Wow, that was chilling. I mean, to the bone. I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I look in the rear view mirror seeing only the images of the past caught in a time slip as the hollow reflections of what was, race past and overtake me. Kethry, what an excellent piece of writing this is. Even though it is sad, it's written beautifully. Hugs to you  Ethel |
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IntoTheFlames Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 92Va, USA |
"I look in the rear view mirror and see the shadows of my history racing me catching me beating me repeating me." Amazing write! In so many ways it reminds me of myself, repeating the same mistakes, stuck in a never ending pattern of what I feel are failures no matter what anyone else thinks. Once again great write!!!!  ~*Summer*~ |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Keth, This one was gut wrenching...vivid and strong. Well done. TD |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you know I can relate to this one, very well |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Hi Keth looks like many of us can relate here, I too said I don't want to be "reincoglinito" which roughly translates consumed by the past so that I start to complain about everything..and that I think is a key to forgeting those bad memories forever..very intense write |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
I am so overcome I find words failing me.. well, then, they sometimes do when I read something you've written, because I am sure that anything I write other than... "this is amazing".. will be completely trite. How's this Keth? What Marsha said.. Pepper |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice |
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