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Open Poetry #27
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| Open Poetry #27 |
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raiment |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa 
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she once saw him as a god tall and symmetrical bronzed muscles and lips to die on his eyes seeing past her fluttering hands desperately making blurs he was perfect and she was Love which is why one day when she was doing her rounds over his rippling heaven she noticed a blemish a small thing really but shocked she recoiled and looked at him he knew what she had seen and was only surprised that it was a surprise the blemish grew into a fault as more were born and chagrin knew her face as she wildly searched his for reasons explanations but his face had changed it had become heavy life-stained dull eyes under gray skies his once proud back twisted like a desert tree her distance grew her adoration flew away like startled quail eyes blinking away until finally she was far away her eyes trained past his bowed shoulders and he stood...as he had always stood no different now than before and knew that dim feeling but this ugly little man stood in the rain and held out his hope to her like a flower |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You may well be the only man who can make me "shut up." Adore you.  |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
[ ] I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It always pays to look at family photos before slipping the ring on.... The imagery? Perfect. The whole scene of this played out very well, Bri... Now. Do it again.  |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
His love is true. This is a keeper. Thanks. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
wow... beautifully written...made me gasp a few times in recognition M |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
So human, so wise, so well done!! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
brian - awesome... BC |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
seems to me he is as tall as a mountain...beautiful write... |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
There is no blemish in this piece that my eye can see. Perfect! Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
Wonderful write, no, more than that ... excellent. Bravo dear poet. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
wow... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Oh! How the mighty have fallen! Woe! is he that is merely human. But human, he is... I love this Dude. This has bested your recent very fine writing. One, that yes, I wish I had written. |
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