Short Moods 12 (Promise Broken)

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Open Poetry #27

Short Moods 12 (Promise Broken)

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2003-07-03 04:48 AM

Pain you cause dances
and in the dip
it always drops my heart on the floor.

You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

1 posted 2003-07-03 07:14 AM

Temptress.:-)
ahhh! That old love/hate thing going on in this short poem...very nice portayal of feelings. The "Jewel quote fits this ditty well....ice

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

2 posted 2003-07-03 07:32 AM

very nicely done....thank you for sharing

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

3 posted 2003-07-03 09:05 AM

Whoah, you conveyed the mood very well!

Patricia

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

4 posted 2003-07-03 04:48 PM

So much in so few, well chosen words.
Eric

Janette

Member Elite

since 2001-07-20

Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now

5 posted 2003-07-03 05:00 PM

Splat!

ouch

I could "feel" this one.

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

6 posted 2003-07-04 02:54 AM

So too, could I.

Thank you.

Peace is the only battle worth waging.
--- Albert Camus

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

7 posted 2003-07-04 07:18 AM

What an excellent visual, Jenn ... great imagery captured in so few words, well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

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