Booze, the fight, and the woman of my dreams

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TasteOfOctober
Member

since 2003-06-24

Posts 94

0 posted 2003-07-03 12:45 PM

Sometimes I find myself wondering
Why I even bother remembering
As if nostalgia would bring you back.
Right now I've enough liquer in me to blieve
That maybe you and I were real once.
It was you or fighting that fight
And where I should have dropped my blade
And picked you up to kiss you as I always did
I should have have given the fight the finger
and spent an eternity looking into those eyes
Living in the world where you and I were one soul
Living to live, living to love...you were there waiting.
But instead of wrapping you in my arms
I kissed you and told you I'd be back
"I have to fight this fight", I said.
So even then i filled myself with booze
To drown out the fact that you wouldn't wait forever
Because I had to fight that fight
"its who I am" I said, as if I could convince myself that it mattered.
I did what I had to do, or what I thought I had to do
And I got nothing for it but a goodbye from you.
Go figure that when I finally had more than my life to lose
I would lose a fight for the first in my life.
The one fight I should have refused
And I stepped up only to lose,
And instead of my life I lost you.
Believe it or not that is the epitome of irony...the one fight where it wasn't my life to lose
And I lost all that ever mattered
And love was shattered...And though I will never say this when I'm sober...
I miss you i love you..
NEVER come back.
I can't afford not to fight..same old story...
I'll drink to that.

The only difference between the creative and the conformists is that the creative will not be conquered and the conformists already are.

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

1 posted 2003-07-03 01:06 AM

"Go figure that when I finally had more than my life to lose
I would lose a fight for the first in my life."

A man has to learn his limitations; some lessons are more costly than others.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2003-07-03 01:10 AM

dang, what a heartache
but your emotional intensity was well presented, TOO

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-07-03 01:21 AM

well, from a fellow poet that has been drinking a lot herself lately...

TasteOfOctober
Member

since 2003-06-24

Posts 94

4 posted 2003-07-03 01:30 AM

hey, awesome, i even got a coupel of thumbs up. now that makes a guy feel special eh? lol. thanx guys.

The only difference between the creative and the conformists is that the creative will not be conquered and the conformists already are.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

5 posted 2003-07-03 08:00 AM

I did what I had to do, or what I thought I had to do
And I got nothing for it but a goodbye from you.
Go figure that when I finally had more than my life to lose
I would lose a fight for the first in my life.
The one fight I should have refused

Maybe you lost nothing, but gained a whole lot of specialness from this person, it seems to me you have, from this write, and you have certainly been placed on the right track....and without knowing this person, maybe you wouldn't have gotten to the place you are now, which to me sounds awful good and full of courage...awareness and a great way to start the day.

Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts and heart...may your day be filled with sunshine and briming with hugs and life.

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