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Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

0 posted 2003-07-02 08:51 AM

Favoring Slumber

Moments pass from
day's malaise
into
lazy haze

Lucidity into obscurity

Brief final analysis
of day's senseless
before night's darkness
hijacks
her weary mind

Yet turbulent thought
jolts lids wide
once again

Through her tint of blue
hints his autumn brown

Eyes

Seal abrupt
Favoring slumber

Finding it
simpler
to navigate
dreams of night
than
dreams of heart.

[This message has been edited by Patricia (07-02-2003 08:59 AM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2003-07-02 08:54 AM

"Eyes

Seal abrupt
Favoring slumber

Finding it
simpler
to navigate
dreams of night
than
dreams of heart."

Wow!! Loved this Patricia!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
you haven't been listening.~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2003-07-02 08:57 AM

Whoa, baby! This is good stuff!--the poetry, that is! Gosh, I have been there--and you brought me there again!--and actually that is a good thing, because it just goes to show me how far I've come since those days--and nights!

Lovin' hugs,
Linda

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2003-07-02 09:01 AM

The assonance in this streams like a cool flow of clear water....it's beautiful. There is that moment when the waves start to break me out from my slumber, and I hit the [in five more minutes] button....

and you are so right, Patricia, it IS a hazy moment one finds, between sleep, and consciousness....

you've described it so well!

HopeS
Member Elite

since 2000-12-22

Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia

4 posted 2003-07-02 09:05 AM

Finding it
simpler
to navigate
dreams of night
than
dreams of heart.

This clinch it for me !!!excellently expressed
Hope

Bonfirelight
Member

since 2003-06-19

Posts 85
London, England

5 posted 2003-07-02 09:09 AM

truly brilliant.

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

6 posted 2003-07-02 09:22 AM

Excellent, and a most enjoyable read!! Well done!!

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart ~~S~~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

7 posted 2003-07-02 09:45 AM

Finding it
simpler
to navigate
dreams of night
than
dreams of heart.

ahhhh I understand this... and I love it too!

enjoyed.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

8 posted 2003-07-02 10:46 AM

Finding it
simpler
to navigate
dreams of night
than
dreams of heart

Patricia, I like this. It's a different form for you, but it looks good.

Hugs

Ethel

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

9 posted 2003-07-02 11:30 AM

excellent write of poetry,,,,,

A voice of honesty
   is treasured
more than voices
   of flattery
      QjQ

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

10 posted 2003-07-02 11:40 AM

Yes, the night dreams can be easier to handle. I enjoyed this one.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

11 posted 2003-07-02 01:24 PM

"Yet turbulent thought
jolts lids wide
once again"

I was going to quote the last verse, like others did (awesome verse Patricia!) but not feeling like a sheep today

...didn't. Nice capture of an uncomfortable moment most have visited in the middle of a long, lonely night.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

12 posted 2003-07-02 04:41 PM

Well done, and I see the sprinkle of
rhyme woven within. Right about the sleep,
so easy to tackle dreams vice realities
at times...

See, your muse woke up....while you were
napping...

papabear
Member

since 1999-09-17

Posts 102
Atlanta, GA

13 posted 2003-07-02 04:42 PM

A pleasure to read..

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

14 posted 2003-07-02 05:22 PM

Nice writing...James

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

15 posted 2003-07-03 02:38 AM

awesome ending! powerful and soft

IndigoEve
Member

since 2003-01-10

Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time

16 posted 2003-07-03 09:54 AM

beautifully composed and an absolute joy to read.

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.--"Romeo and Juliet"

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

17 posted 2003-07-03 10:01 AM

Lovely waltz of words Patricia. hugs, Chris

"Said you'd give me light...
...but you never told me about the fire."

~Stevie Nicks~

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

18 posted 2003-07-03 04:47 PM

Wow...this is beautiful writing!
Eric

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

19 posted 2003-07-03 10:07 PM

Thanks everyone for your wonderful replies to this poem. Your kind words mean a great deal to me!

Love,
Patricia

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