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Open Poetry #27
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-06-13 12:35 PM


I know
it's not you
but the image I hate
a promise broken
created by
your creations
distorted with time
As am I,
twisted bone and
ligaments strewn  
over a graveyard of lies
I am your child
or so they say
sitting wide eyed
by the tree
waiting for
foil wrapped salvation

© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2003-06-13 01:58 AM


As am I,
twisted bone and
ligaments strewn  
over a graveyard of lies


Kewl imagery both of you, enjoyed.

you make a great team

Maree

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-06-13 02:25 AM


that's depressing stuff, but good!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2003-06-13 02:28 AM


foil wrapped salvation, huh?

hmmmm...

do I have stories to tell...

But yes, doncha just love the pre-packaged salvation (remember that guy who used to sell--er, offer in exchange for a donation of faith those paper prayer mats? Whatever happened to him?) Musta got raptured. All the way to Huntsville I hope.

Love this.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2003-06-13 04:01 PM


Wow I see this went over well..jesus h..
thanks much ladies. In medieval times the church used to offer a certificate(for a price of course) that would ensure your entrance into heaven..gotta love that

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
5 posted 2003-06-13 06:36 PM


This is just awesome for words
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
6 posted 2003-06-13 06:45 PM


gutsy, u 2,and i relate,
but
whats the foil about, duh, i dont get it.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2003-06-13 07:22 PM


Fantastic write you two!!!
May we expect more?  Please?
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-06-13 08:42 PM


Thanks guys . . . Nancy - Michele - K -
Maree - dixie and Brad - truly . . .

hehehe well the foil Michele
picture Christmas time - sitting under the tree - equate that image of Santa
with the image of what we have been taught
about God by society - blind faith sort of
you know?
Hence, foil wrapped salvation . . .
Or maybe it can be an easter egg too -
you know like the Easter Bunny who is
also a huge farce . . .

this wasnt intended towards God - no
but societys' God . . .

Thanks everyone
xxoo

Raph - add to that?  


[This message has been edited by littlewing (06-14-2003 11:29 AM).]

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
9 posted 2003-06-13 09:01 PM


ahhhhhhh..."foil wrapped salvation"...the brass ring of blessings...nice yall...smooch...h
dreambuilder
Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319
caddyshack
10 posted 2003-06-14 02:44 AM


Two of my favorite poets
I especially love this part

I am your child
or so they say
sitting wide eyed
by the tree
waiting for
foil wrapped salvation

Raph - as a fellow orphan -
I share your viewpoint

Littlewing - pass the milk and cookies
I dont think he's coming

You make a great team
I always enjoy both of your writings
The two of you amaze me

[This message has been edited by dreambuilder (06-14-2003 02:45 AM).]

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
11 posted 2003-06-14 08:00 AM


you two r bloody great.

I am your child
or so they say
sitting wide eyed
by the tree
waiting for
foil wrapped salvation

i'm in awe.
a keeper this is, which says so so much.

muchos love to you both
love gem xxx

RedStoneEB
Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772
uk
12 posted 2003-06-14 09:29 AM


this duets interest me alot i could see two different styles brought together to form a wonderful poem makes you think what combo styles would produce what kind of poems like since i do'nt know how this duet stuff works or anyone to duet with ill never be able to be part of such a great interest i uptake

my mind is like a dream sometimes confusing

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
13 posted 2003-06-14 10:44 AM


Deep - and really well done.  I think you hit the nail on the head with your point about salvation.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
14 posted 2003-06-14 11:28 AM


Thanks slick - I am honored you are here
to read this - truly
smooches back - very cool

Dream - I already ate the milk and cookies I couldnt help myself lol
(actually they were becoming stale)
thank you for your sweet words
you always have the right thing to say

gemma - thank you so much - I like that bloody great heh!  And umm you know missy - when will you do a duet or two - would love to see you meeting minds - now that would be quite amazing

Thanks gem xxoo

Red- of course you can do a duet silly
just let the poet know - I am sure they will more than accomodating
Thank you for reading and appreciating
xxoo

Lng Jhn - oh the salvation part was a toughie too
thanks for saying that

Thank you guys
xxoo  

[This message has been edited by littlewing (06-17-2003 02:03 AM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
15 posted 2003-06-15 10:46 PM


Raph:

lol

my mom read this and very cool
her interpretation immediately was
that of an abandoned child . . .

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
16 posted 2003-06-15 11:11 PM


Aenimal - an amazing write you two...

BC

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
17 posted 2003-06-15 11:57 PM


Thanks Everyone and trust me all the good stuff is Sue's
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
18 posted 2003-06-16 12:48 PM


(says so much cos i cant atm...stupid splint) loved it OBVIOUSLY dahlings!!!

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
19 posted 2003-06-16 12:52 PM


Raph has yet to disclose that he is a pathological liar (oops)

Thanks Kris  what happened to you?

Bill - thank you so much - always

xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (06-16-2003 12:54 PM).]

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
20 posted 2008-02-06 05:30 PM


A very Duet With you too!

Enjoyed the write Deeply

ARCTIC WIND

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