Open Poetry #27 |
I am a river |
Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
I am a river I flow And feel nothing but the flow |
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© Copyright 2003 Jason Lyle - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
god what a cliche |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Then add to it Jason... what does the river leave behind? |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Nah you got rid of any cliche with the second part..you diffused it and made it a pwerful statement about the numbness we sometimes feel..i need a drink |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I'm with Raph |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
I thought it was great! I wanna be numb sometimes and can't..... ....Ahhh, numbness, wait up Raph and Dixie! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Jason its perfect as it is . . . exactly . . . adding more would make you a raging wild turbulent wave rushing full of fish and wildlife green swimming blue river thus we would never feel the flow . . . awesome write indeed xxoo |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
nice, short and sweet. I often feel that way. |
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Gina Culliney Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170 |
lil teaser! |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
we are all a cliche tho, dont worry..be happy |
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