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Open Poetry #27
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She
| Open Poetry #27 |
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She |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow 
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Elegantly clueless. I dedicate my time now, to her prowess. That night, her hair dripped down like rain, into my mouth. I drank the way she dropped, right into me like a paper cup. I tell her, that her earrings look heavier than her heart. She reminds me of the man who gave them to her, what he said about falling apart. We carry our baskets for a picnic betwixt the stars .. She spit on her finger and put the sun out. We shared lips and prose, we spoke, as one. Our bodies flow like a violent fluid. As we tried to hold our own peices together. She looks ahead, and I fall victim to tears I haven't yet wept. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved | |||
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
The bittersweet sense of this is overwhelming. A brilliant piece! Thank you for sharing it. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
damn, that's sad and beautiful, very melancholic |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kaoru Extraordinary writing!! |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
Wow is all I can seem to utter now. Let me get over the shock for a while......That was amazing! *Allison* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
We carry our baskets for a picnic betwixt the stars .. She spit on her finger and put the sun out. We shared lips and prose, we spoke, as one. Our bodies flow like a violent fluid. As we tried to hold our own peices together. She looks ahead, and I fall victim to tears I haven't yet wept. ========================= This is a very cool and impressive, unique write...your employ of imagery and personification is excellent and creates a clever mix of abstract and surreal essence and expression. Those last lines are excellent and on the money for poetic impact and closure. Very well done poet Kaour... Welcome to poetry land.  jm Im still imagining your voice ... |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I missed this before... Stunning write. Susan C. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
very Much Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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