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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-06-22 10:01 PM

I wonder if
tonight, the rain will speak to me.
I walk into half lit streets, dark
and harsh on my feet.

My shadow struggles to hold
on to a brick wall just behind me.

And if it weren't enough,
to be afraid in the darkness, the rain,
it mimics footsteps behind me.
And the pavement becomes slippery.
It's my good intentions, that
I circle about -
I find that there are none..

I've shunned
the world around me and
hovered in dark corners
prayed
that light would never hit
this shade
that I've become..

My legs tend to give out
after the rain speaks
to me in volumes of
how walking could just be
another way of contributing the cycle
of a drenched soul.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2003-06-23 12:29 PM

This one is eery, Meghan. I kept waiting for someone to jump out at you and attack, and yet? It's only your shadow and an active imagination it seems, that haunts you in the rain. Well done! you had me edgy the whole time.
(hope all is well)

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (06-23-2003 12:30 AM).]

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

2 posted 2003-06-23 12:31 PM

Painfull....I seek cleansing in the rain...a renewal of hope and purpose...This poem is from a soul in pain...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-06-23 08:39 AM

ouch

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

4 posted 2003-06-23 08:52 AM

I was on edge when I read this, too. I "like" the dreariness of it.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2003-06-23 04:09 PM

A very fine and compelling piece of writing!

I especially enjoyed this line: " My shadow struggles to hold onto the brick wall behind me"...

Warm hugs,
EA

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

6 posted 2003-06-24 12:57 PM

I agree with Earth Angel, and hauntingly, it reminds me of my sister....
No matter how many times I've read this, I lack for a adequate response to your message but feel the need to tell you how exceptional it is.

rapturedmist
Junior Member

since 2003-06-23

Posts 30
USA

7 posted 2003-06-24 01:48 AM

I think its a toss up between the first and last line of the poem for being my favorite. Its eery yet reflecting.
-RM

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

8 posted 2003-06-24 02:02 AM

My shadow struggles to hold
on to a brick wall just behind me.

This line is awesome!

nice insight indeed
xxoo

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

9 posted 2003-06-25 02:38 AM

Meghan~
I really like this a lot.
I am a lover of the rain, so the whole 'feel' of
this one very much appeals to me.
Your imagery is wonderful as well...I 'saw' as I read.
Nicely done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

10 posted 2009-03-22 11:35 PM

Emotions, you gotta hate them and love them

ARCTIC WIND

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