Hell Explained By A Chemistry Student Of WSU

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Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

0 posted 2011-06-19 01:34 PM

Stephanos, I was making your hot Cajun sauce up for some Father's Day ribs for tonight and was thinking of you with this "true joke."

Go ahead and argue this one up you "brainiacs!" Oh, and

to you guys out there too!

HELL AS EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.  The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which, of course, is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.  So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.  I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.  Therefore, no souls are leaving.  As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not be long to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.  With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.  Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over!  The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2011-06-19 01:54 PM

Sandgrain, who is Rebecca - Whtdove's Mom, sent me this this morning, and I just knew I had to share with the smart dudes out there. Thanks Rae!

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

2 posted 2011-06-19 02:55 PM

Q.E.D.

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

3 posted 2011-06-19 06:15 PM

His A+ on this one, explains a lot of my confusion in today's society.

Rae

Stephanos

Member Elite

since 2000-07-31

Posts 3618
Statesboro, GA, USA

4 posted 2011-06-21 11:04 AM

Mysteria,

I often find myself (and not always happily so) unable to appreciate jokes about such "grave" subjects, but I am glad to hear that your ribs were heavenly.

And thanks for the happy Father's Day.

Stephen

Bob K
Member Elite

since 2007-11-03

Posts 4208

5 posted 2011-06-21 03:33 PM

Surely you could dig this one?

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

6 posted 2011-06-27 04:43 PM

I love this.

Angel4aKing
Senior Member

since 2006-09-27

Posts 1372
USA

7 posted 2011-10-14 01:51 AM

Very good!!! And that definitely proves that there is more then one way to look at it!!!!

~~~kingsangel~~~

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