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Secret & Private
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Secret & Private |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee 
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I like those words~ and it’s interesting to me how men are stereotypically charged with being more secret & private than women. Women are stereotypically charged with being unable to keep a secret and being public with everything. Have men compromised Top Secret Information to women in private? Yep. Would this have to do with biological wiring? expression? cause & effect, or simple discretion & indiscretion? too many think the words are virtually the same, but I disagree. I can’t really pinpoint anything direct at the moment, but the defs. are vast for those two little words and I don't think one can take the place of the other. Top Private Secret Eye Off the top of my head without checking etymology or definitions, wouldn’t what’s secret also be private, but what’s private may not be a secret? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
How about "sneaky" and "evasive". I like those words better. "Cause um, I have noticed when I neglect to mention a detail of something to my husband, I am "sneaky" and "evasive." The natural prediliction of men to be "secret" and "private" only seems to come up in non-answer to a question from a woman. Which, is pretty darned evasive, doncha think?  |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
So is this thread about the nuances of "secret" and "private", or is it a man-bashing session? Or is that too a secret?  I'm not sure either gender has a greater tendency toward secrecy. But I will say that its proper to be secretive at times, and contemptible to be so at other times. It all depends upon motive and circumstance, don't you think? Then there's just plain negligence, which is often the case with men. I sometimes withhold important information from my wife out of an absent-minded lack of communication. That doesn't excuse it, but it is not out and out deceit. Stephen |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Well I'd like to go out on a limb Stephanos and bet the Reg ain't a "man basher".  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
I think I'm the one on the limb here. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
What is interesting to me, is how Reggie was exonerated from the accusation of man-bashing, and I was left here alone. Do tell, Larry, why is that? Um, she is the initiator of the post. Oh, wait. I see Stephan is out there on a limb too. Let me grab my saw... I'll get ya down bro.  |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
This feels more like a cartoon episode than a philosophy thread. But then again, I'm apparently hanging by one. Ever seen those cartoons where the sawed-off-limb stays put and the tree falls? One can only hope.  Stephen |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
What do you mean by "Secret & Private"? DO you mean Secret "don't tell" and Private "don't tell in public"? |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Karen~ Good words, but they suggest something negative of the one being sneaky or evasive, whereas everyone’s entitled to their secrets, and we all feel we have some, and privacy or being private about something is a right many don’t want to respect. However, I have called a man’s cards on an issue, and (like a Twix moment) he did ask if he could think before he divulged himself to me about something that was secret & private. I respected his request and I guess the joke was on me, cuz I thought it would be something really BIG! It was something I already knew, but hadn’t shared that I knew, so, somehow it became my secret, too. I think it’s a matter of weirdness, between people, and the idiosyncrasies of communication/relationships. For instance: I have a friend that regularly checks her husband’s e-mail and his cell, though he’s never done anything to warrant any concern. She feels (or likes to think) he’s keeping secrets from her, while she secretly cracks his passwords, hacks into his mail, and invades his privacy. I think he knows, but doesn't say anything. Sighs, now it’s not really a secret, because I divulged, and what if they ever read this! so, secret and private takes on negativity depending on the character & the flaws involved. Stephen~ Ah, yes, exactly. The “nuances” of secret & private. No, no. No man-bashing. No trees, no limbs, are necessary. No Bush either. (snark) My fondness for most other men isn’t exactly a secret, but that’s a private matter. I think.  “But I will say that it’s proper to be secretive at times, and contemptible to be so at other times.” But isn’t that, decidedly, an individual judgment call that may cause a problem if someone directly involved with you doesn’t agree? I think the element of trust between people takes some hits sometimes, regarding what’s secret and private. It seems people want to be entitled to their secrets and are very private about their reasons, because they are personal, but they also want to gauge or monitor others by their own standards, as with anything I suppose, but something secret or private can’t really BE gauged unless it’s compromised. “motive and circumstance”, of course. “deceit” is definitely the ugly cousin of secret and I’m sure the two get unfairly paired at a table of issues. Larry~ Get out of my tree before you fall down and break something private. Hahaha. Karen~ See. You can take care of yourself, and lend a hand to another at the same time. I dunno if they have that much faith in me  Tom~ Sure. “Secret "don't tell" and Private "don't tell in public." I think those are solid usages. Though secrets may be acts that no one’s ever spoken of and private may be acts that are committed in public, as well. Telling may not ever happen. There are principles to secret & private for most people, and seductive elements as well. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, you can keep a secret and you can keep privates secret, but how do you keep a private? |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Ha. Good one. Hmm, the rank of Private in the military...stems from the soldier being private property of the government? I'm just guessing. so then you could "keep a Private" at attention, but not a secret, unless one's a member of Secret Service. Are there Private ranks of the SS? |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Take a look at other words that derive from the same Indoeuropean roots as secret and private: Secret: s(w)e- Private: per1 Of course secrete and secretary are also based on the same part as secret as well: Latin secretus "set apart", the Perfect Passive participle of secernere "to set apart". |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
quote: At ease?   |
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