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Philosophy 101
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Losing Nature
| Philosophy 101 |
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Losing Nature |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Have you ever found yourself of more force than nature? My own nature is now something I drag behind myself like a boulder I pull with a chain becoming longer and longer between me and it, more distant away from my body, yet heavier as I try to keep pulling it. I can no longer do things naturally, but everything requires something of a force that must try with excess vigour to remain from mental confusion or physical clumsiness, being accidently rude to someone, making a grammatical mistaking in communication, a mistake in counting money, misinterpreting what one says, forgetting things, yet the smallness of the amount of clarity and grace makes me wonder why I even bother. I restore daily a way of thinking and feeling in me that imagines it will find a permanance, a knowing, and to place to stand and prosper, where eventually I will find someone to share life with, but this collapses and distitegrates again at the same daily rate. I just wonder if you've ever dealt with a form of depression like this, and if there is any way out it other than something that will make one unstable, like a pill. I would rather be stable in depression than artificially happy with a pill that would make me unstable every time I might not take it. I don't believe that depression is a disease that one can't find her/his own remedy for by natural methods and personal changes, it might be matter sometimes of a new approach or a new philosophy, but I suppose you have to find out the right change for what you are dealing with. Thanks for listening. [This message has been edited by Essorant (11-26-2002 01:23 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Essorant - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Essorant: Thanks for the post. It is a welcome distraction. To you initial question, as I understand it, I would say yes, I have. It amazes me everytime, for example, I experience the exhilaration of successfully advocating for my child, children of others, or parents of children with disabilities. There is so much work to be done and, fortunately, I've been able to be involved with extremely energetic and resourceful people, so the successes have been frequent. That is not to say there have not been major setbacks. One could have potentially derailed our efforts and severely impacted four children and their families. Perseverence and, in my opinion, providence permitted us to weather that storm and others like it. In managing the seemingly bipolar exhilaration/exhaustion, I've simply made a conscious attempt to keep my eyes focused on the objective and the beneficiaries of my work, allowing short times to recoup now and again. When that fails, there is always beer.  Thanks again for the post. Jim |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Ahhhhh, beer. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Jim, Thank You for sharing your thoughts. I know that my life would be much different if I had someone whom I could share my days with in an intimacy, and have in mind with everything I pursue, but I don't have anyone whom I can keep ardently in my mind individually in such a way, I only have the vague crowd of most of society whereof I am a stranger to most, and who are strangers mostly to me. I feel I must do something for the world, bestow a new sense of direction and a physical mark give that people will be able to solidly behold, but it is hard to know where to begin without counsel of a mutual mate and when the world looks like the motion and speed of light. It becomes a lonely business. But it is just another challenge and I think you are right that preseverence is a good assistant, and if beer comes along...there's definitly hope  |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Maybe Brad will come along if I have enough beer |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Essorant: If Brad's invited, I better bring an extra keg. It has been my experience that purpose finds you moreso than you find it. If you would have told me five years ago that I'd be doing what I am doing now, I would not have believed you. As time goes on I think direction becomes more apparent. I also think many people will tell you the same thing. Jim |
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