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My World
| Open Poetry #26 |
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My World |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
You say I'm nice, Ha! So you think I still care? I gave up all that [edit] long ago. Repugnance all I feel as you stare. Get the hell away from me! Think I'll waste my time anymore? Let you toy with my soul again? Request denied! I lost it long before. So you want to take a ride inside this wretched mind? Explore these emotions, that I've worked so hard to hide? Comforting me with empty words, pretending that you care. Return hope to me, I reach out to you, tossed aside nothing left but despair! I'm not that [edit] stupid! Thanks for thinking so little of me. To think I could ever forget harsh lessons seered eternally. You are rocking my world! You are lighting my world! You are [edit] my world! You are destroying my world! So you like to tell secrets? Here's a little secret of mine. I used to be kind. I used to let people inside. I filled them with love, but they filled me with pain. I just wasn't good enough and now I'm going insane! Now people call me angry, the smile erased from my face. They think I pose a danger. That my rage is out of place. Go ahead and laugh, call me your names. Thinking I'm crazy, this mind you try to tame. Here comes the paddy wagon to take me away, dress me in jacket cause I don't tick the same! Go ahead and wrap me up oh so tight. Lock the doors and keep me out of sight. [edit] straight you should be ashamed of me. Afterall, you are the ones who created me! Staightjacket wrapped in eternal hug. Arms wrapped tight to hold in the fear. Why do they ignore the cure so near? Please don't leave me alone to die in here! Just one bit of love returned can make this all go away. Just one night held all I need to make this pain go away. Michael J Fessel [This message has been edited by Nan (05-25-2003 08:22 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Michael J Fessel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
I'm not sure what went wrong here, but I'm sorry... I don't even know what to say to this post. It sounds so much like you're talking to me - I'm sorry.  ~ Poets cry with words, not always tears, you see. ~ PoetSeaMaiden |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
PoetSeaMaiden, Stop it!!! I wasn't talking to you at all. God no!!!, I am really freaking out here. I didn't mean to hurt you, this was just my fustration about how others have treated me in the past. I didn't mean you!!! How could you think that? Now I am going to sit here and hope you see this, feeling like till you do. Mike  [This message has been edited by Nan (05-25-2003 11:35 AM).] |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
PoetSeaMaiden, I am really sorry if somehow I gave you the impression in this I meant you somehow!!! Please forgive me? I can't stand to think I hurt you! Mike[This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-30-2003 08:35 AM).] |
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
Okay...(grabbing chest and nearly having a stroke!) You did freak me out on that one, I'm sorry. I read it over and over trying to see something in it - a reason, maybe something I said. (sweating bullets) You just used a couple of lines in there that I thought were quotes from me, and I nearly fell over thinking I had hurt you someway. I'm so sorry, but WHEW am I glad to know it's ok. Bend over, you're getting a HARD spanking for THAT one mister! I'm STILL freaking out! hee hee! Let's make up, ok? ~ Poets cry with words, not always tears, you see. ~ PoetSeaMaiden |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
PoetSeaMaiden: Oh it is my fault, you are right. Perhaps something you said seeped into my subconscious and went in here, but just the words, not any feeling towards you, NO NO!!! Oh you have been nothing but wonderful to me in every way! I couldn't mean this about you, don't you see that? Oh and I was so scared, I thought you would be so upset, you'd never look in here again. I tried to E-Mail you, but you had none listed, so I was just well, like I said freaking out. Oh I will pull this in a second if you wish! I would never have posted it if I thought I would have gotten such a reaction from you. I AM SO SORRY!!! Yes lots of hugs for you, for I am so sorry and I don't want you to feel upset EVER because of me! I'd draw you a hundred more, but there's a five smilie limit, so just imagine them OK?Forgive me, please? Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
PoetSeaMaiden, This was just an outburst against all those who act like they care about me, and then when I open up to them, they turn away from me, which really, really hurts by the way. I didn't mean you. I know I said it one hundred times but still, I feel I must say that again. I was just in one of my terrible moods of despair, thinking about a good friend who had been the most recent to do this to me. I don't think you would EVER do that to anyone! So do you understand? Oh and did you read the last four lines. My expressions couldn't even last the poem. In the end I just went against all I said before in a way and said how much I needed someone to care. Though in my mind I think I was leading this poem there all along. Mike [This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-30-2003 09:21 AM).] |
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
OH I'M GONNA KICK WHOEVER CREATED THIS PROGRAM!! *kick* *kick* !!!! I just wrote you this really long, really funny note, and because I had ONE TOO MANY smilies, it made me go back to edit it?? Well, it FREAKING did away with EVERYTHING I had written THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! *kick* *kick* !!!!!!! If anyone cares to FIX this little mishap of a system, it's OK to do so!! *kick* *kick* !!!!!!! LOL, I'm okay now, I'm really ok. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
PoetSeaMaiden, Oh that is OK  Just the thought is wonderful, though I wish I could have read it for sure. I bet it WAS funny, knowing you But this reply was really funny too LOL [Not that I'm laughing at your fustration, just WITH your fustration  ] Oh and by the way, I get caught with that 5 smilie rule all the time, so now I copy the message right before I hit submit, and that way if it erases, I still have it. I bet your reply would have been so much fun to read! But I am just glad to see you have forgiven me  Now I am happy again.Mike [This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-30-2003 09:47 AM).] |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
PoetSeaMaiden, I got your message, as I'm sure you know Mike  [Do you like butterflies? This one told me he had to meet you, he's never seen a real live Mermaiden before][This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-30-2003 05:01 PM).] |
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
 Hi butterfly, and you're so sweet - a real live mermaiden, 'eh? That's me!  ~ Poets cry with words, not always tears, you see. ~ PoetSeaMaiden |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
people call me angry too *shrugging shoulders* |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Mike, I had not seen this post before and I must say it DOES hurt, because you are so good in "displaying" your moods ... and the consequent dialogue has an incredible "pace" ..... quite a PIECE! You are a remarkable poet (even without using some words ..). It is beautiful when others care ... but dear Mike we must not count on that to be happy. All you can really count on is YOU. And I think you have great strength underneath the fragility that surfaces. Every now and then I think all of us have the feeling that nobody cares, but I believe we are all more connected than we might suspect when we are in a lonely mood .... and love reaches through ALWAYS, if you let your heart door open ... Love, Margherita ... one for each of you[This message has been edited by Margherita (05-25-2003 08:36 AM).] |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Passing Shadows, How and where did you find this old thing?! I forgot it even existed. Mike [This message has been edited by Nan (05-25-2003 11:37 AM).] |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Margherita, Wow, you really liked this that much?  Thank you!"It is beautiful when others care ... but dear Mike we must not count on that to be happy. All you can really count on is YOU." -I hear this again and again from everyone, and therefore it MUST be true. But it isn't for me, because I'm not a strong person, I am very weak. Without support, I just fall. And I am always falling. It's funny, cause I'm good at supporting others, but when it comes to myself... I am trying to fix the problems that I have and they are many. But I can't do it alone. I try, I fail. So I guess I'll just keep waiting for someone to come along, maybe someone screwed up like me. Perhaps we can both keep from falling just by leaning against each other. Now wouldn't that be a wonderful thing? Bye for now kindest Margherita, thanks for the smilies. I love smilies! Mike[This message has been edited by MikeFessel (05-25-2003 05:24 AM).] |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Mike, when I say we must count on ourselves it does not really mean we can do it all on our own ... I think we have seeds of light and love planted in our core, our soul, from the moment we were called into existence. This SOURCE is ALWAYS there ....could we exist on our own? No, there is something so much greater than we can imagine and it never lets us down. We feel abandoned when we are not aware of this incredible oneness with All there is. I suggest you look into the mirror and you say to yourself "You have been created out of Love and you were provided with all the instruments to LIVE, try to draw from this source dwelling in your heart". In that sense we are never alone. Two beings who feel they are both weak do understand each other, but lack the power to help each other out of this state of things. You are WHOLE ... NOW. Maybe I am talking too much, sorry! Love, Margherita all for you ... |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Margherita, Ha ha You're funny. No way, you are not talking too much! My goodness sometimes my own replies are like books! Anyway, you are a really nice person and I enjoy listening to you, so talk as much as you like at least Ummm you don't want to hear the kind of things that go through my head when I look into the mirror. It's not what you are suggesting, I'll tell you that. And I do think two weak people can make each other strong. Not only would they understand each other in many ways, but there is strength in numbers. Not to mention the strength that could grow out of the love they feel for each other. Who knows, maybe I'm just a dreamer... Thank you for caring Angel  Mike [This message has been edited by MikeFessel (05-25-2003 09:03 AM).] |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
QUOTING YOU: And I do think two weak people can make each other strong. Not only would they understand each other in many ways, but there is strength in numbers. Not to mention the strength that could grow out of the love they feel for each other. Who knows, maybe I'm just a dreamer... ***************************************** I'm not sure that can really happen, but if it can? I wish you great luck. If you take two weak beams and lean them against each other in just the right way, perhaps all the harmful things in life COULD somehow slide away more easily. I don't know. But the stronger you make yourself, the better the chance to stay 'upright' and also help the next one. As for editing? In the long run I think you'll appreciate it, as it helps control the venting some people do that can be really hurtful. I've had more than one instance here, and at another board, where someone referred to my work as trite 'dribble' and 'pooh'....but they had to do it at Pips via a private email, which is quite easy to delete. LOL, and it got deleted with a chuckle and a one-fingered handstroke. Have a peaceful fun writing weekend, Mike. |
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