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Open Poetry #26
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Diamonds With Eyes
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Diamonds With Eyes |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
Staring at you is like staring at a thousand diamonds- So much perfection it hurts your eyes. How could you ever see good in me? Imperfection pours from me. Every step I take I leave behind this imperfect residue. And yet you stare, you never look away... Except when I stare back. A quick pique of blush rushes to your cheeks And you look away To anywhere At anything That does not have eyes. I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. --Chang Tzu [This message has been edited by KoKo (04-25-2003 03:16 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lauren - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Interseting POV. Even rough diamonds hold beauty, and can capture the gaze of one who sees into the heart of the multi-faceted gem. |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
nice |
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time2shine New Member
since 2003-04-20
Posts 7 |
I like it. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
neat...I like it too! |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
enjoyied this one!!! "It matters not how you answer, It matters only if i hear you" |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
KoKo - liked this writing... BC |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
Thank you, Bill! I am honored that you read a peice of my work, and took the time to comment! QjQ: Thanks muchly! ^_~ passing shadows: For some reason I always love your comments. Thanks! time2shine: Hey!! Don't believe I've seen you around here before!!! Welcome to Passions!! Thanks for the read and comment!!! Brad: Thank you dear  Midnitesun: Thank you very much! Thanks, everybody! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Dear KoKo: Wow! I am blown away by this. Sigh...this is so beautiful. "How could you ever see good in me? Imperfection pours from me. Every step I take I leave behind this imperfect residue." -Wonderful, just wonderful, especially the residue! "I leave behind this imperfect residue. And yet you stare, you never look away... Except when I stare back. A quick pique of blush rushes to your cheeks And you look away To anywhere At anything That does not have eyes." -I love this whole part Such an incredible poem of love and innocence. This evokes such feelings in me, that I could read this forever. Mike |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
Oh my...Oh man...I can't even think of a word to say...I suppose THANK YOU would be a wonderful place to start! You read my poem head on, the exact way I meant it. I am astonished by your compliment. Read it forever?? Wow! I must say...You have taken my breath away. I must thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your response!!!! I am very flattered. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Why thank me, its your words that led me too express myself as I did. I should be thanking you and I will. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I am voting for this too Mike [This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-26-2003 03:49 AM).] |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
You really are much much much too kind...Stop it my cheeks are burning!!! lol  I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Sorry I must always have the last word LOL Oh, by the way I love your quote and the cute little asian icon, or is that pebbles? hmmm. It is so happy! Ok I'll stop gushing now. Sorry once I get going its hard for me too stop. But stop I will I promise. Don't blush. You rock! Be proud. [This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-26-2003 04:02 AM).] |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
LoL, that's Miss Pebbles herself! Yup, she is so happy and it always makes me smile when I see it, that's why I chose it! Thanks, Mike. You're too kind, damn it, now let me have the last word!!!! lol jk  I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Nope I am too evilGoodnight KoKo |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Lauren, I like this a lot. Especially the ending...good work! Enjoyed, hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
A diamond in the rough is a diamond none the less...it just takes special eyes to see the brilliance locked inside....Stunning poem...you have my vote [This message has been edited by Startime55 (04-26-2003 01:06 PM).] |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Vote worthy. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Oh Lauren, this is beautiful, sweet friend, in fact I've never really liked diamonds to be honest with you just because of how people are enslaved to mine with them and you truly are a very special person with much golden love to share! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
Thank you Pat Startime: Stunning!? Wow! Thank you very much!!! Spirit: Thank you very much! Noah: You are so, so sweet! Thank you very very much!!!!! Thank you EVERYONE! Anyone who took the time to read, comment, and/or vote...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!! You're all so awesome! Hehe! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
This definately deserves to be in the book and the title is beautiful and the writing equally excellent. Melissa~ Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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pjtalty Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111W.A., Australia |
A wiry, evocative verse encapsulating a description of two sides of the "looking over" process. It has two main strengths as a piece of free verse: it is brief, yet covers the whole ambit of the theme; it is evocative -for me, anyway-, because I have been on both sides of the action! Very nice to read from both technical and intellectual aspects. I think this one should be in the anthology and have voted accordingly. Patrick Talty [This message has been edited by pjtalty (04-28-2003 11:26 AM).] |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
Thanks vandana, Honeybee, and pjtalty!!!!!!!! Thank you VERY VERY much!!!!! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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