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LastMoments
Member

since 2003-03-07

Posts 92

0 posted 2003-04-23 10:14 PM

I sat that night
Perched at my window
Outside the stars glistened
Dripping shards of life

The fire never ending
Dancing to my eyes
Warm discomfort; soothing
Strange acceptance in the winds

Tears trace the feeble path
With footprints far behind
Of times I fell to demand
And broke to my weakness

The scars along my arms hidden
Each a stories rest
That etched in stone a time
Of being all alone

The eyes a doorway to the past
Locked away to understanding
Under blocks of these mistakes
A key hidden to lose myself

On the desk the piece of glass
That drips what may remain
Of a time that could of been
When I could have saved myself

Sometimes I just can't let go

whiskey

Senior Member

since 1999-12-28

Posts 1278
Australia

1 posted 2003-04-23 10:18 PM

Moving piece, very deep. I hope this is not of expierence in life. A sadness is felt.

Julie

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

2 posted 2003-04-24 07:41 PM

I feel the sadness. I like the way you expressed the sadness too.

Cold hands means a warm heart

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2003-04-24 07:45 PM

I like your writing, seems familiar in that comfortable way.

And letting go? Best of luck.

~wranx

"The shortest distance between two points is.....sometimes intolerable"

~Bukowski~

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

4 posted 2003-04-24 07:46 PM

Sometimes writing is the best way to let go...my heart and soul were deeply touched by this poem....

MikeFessel
Member

since 2003-04-19

Posts 321
Brooklyn, NYC, USA

5 posted 2003-04-24 09:54 PM

This is one of the best poems I have read in my entire life! Wow! This is amazing!

"Outside the stars glistened
Dripping shards of life" -this is incredible imagery.

"Warm discomfort; soothing" -ooh very good!

"Tears trace the feeble path
With footprints far behind" -terrific.

"Of times I fell to demand
And broke to my weakness" -I like the way you expressed this

"The scars along my arms hidden
Each a stories rest" -this is my favorite part

"That etched in stone a time
Of being all alone" -scars etching. Oh my, this is amazing

"On the desk the piece of glass
That drips what may remain
Of a time that could of been
When I could have saved myself" -This whole stanza is incredible and so moving!

"Sometimes I just can't let go" -Sigh...I know the feeling.

This is so expressive and powerful without throwing your emotions at people. Wow I envy your style. Truly poetic.

Sorry if I gushed here, but I was deeply moved by this.

Mike

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

6 posted 2003-04-24 09:59 PM

The scars along my arms hidden
Each a stories rest
That etched in stone a time
Of being all alone

**************************

On the desk the piece of glass
That drips what may remain
Of a time that could of been
When I could have saved myself

Sometimes I just can't let go

This is painful... I know this feeling, and I hope that it will let go of both of us eventually. Preferably sooner rather than later. In my darker moments I don't believe it possible... but right now nothing seems wrong with hope.

Hugs to you.

Kielo

I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing.

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