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Open Poetry #26
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Some of my poetry/stories
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Some of my poetry/stories |
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That Playa TL Junior Member
since 2003-02-21
Posts 19Tampa, FL |
negative feedback/critism encouraged... tell me what parts i need to work on. thanx "Love Is On It's Way" i see you almost everyday, together-we have coffee and toast we laugh and tell jokes. its no secret that we've become close maybe its possible to be more than just that, but i'm afraid to make the first move even though i come off as very open and smooth my mind and imagination wonders what we could be if we became an item, once in our lives living comfortably but i know that you're scared too, even tho you don't express it you quickly change the subject when i bring up relationships seems like once your ex-lovers knew you were in love they slowly back out of the relationship. i know its rough calling them on the phone and they stop answering. the sunshine turns to rain ready for commitment and marriage, tired of the childish games tired of guys only wanting to stimulate you sexually but not mentally but you have to learn all men aren't like that. like me i dont mean to sound full of myself. but i've seen the lonely side too praying for that special somebody to hug and kiss and call your boo somebody to fall asleep laying next to and then wake up to the secret is to never give up, love is on it's way, special delivery it's gonna love you like you've never been loved before!! a real man who's intelligent. not a wannabe thug who calls you a whore! i apologize, i was reminiscing on what you had told me about the ex how he only told you that he loved you when he wanted to have sex love is a precious thing if its expressed right, romantic evenings with candle light communicating from the soul, telling each other what we want... on that very special night feeling the passion within each others heart, learning that we aren't so far appart growing together as one, taking it day to day hey, like i said, love is on it's way "Death Bed" i'm laying on my death bed, i think they're ready to pull the plug my family coming into the room to give me one last hug my whole life is flashing before my eyes, my story is being told i feel the rain fallin down so rapidly, my body is turning cold will the world remember me? will my legacy live on? when my children grow up will they be affected by my song? please let them know that their daddy was soldier i hustled just to put food on the dinner table, just for him and her i wanted us to be a family forever, but things have changed i sadly accept this, but i still question my fate i'll always remain in your hearts, it's an unconditional bond my last words were "i'll never stop loving you even after i'm gone" "Lost Without Your Love" I dont know where you choose to roam I only wish that you would come back home I'm missing you like crazy i'm starting to feel premature insanity without your pressense, i'm only left with an emptiness within myself not caring anymore about my personal health i'm a mess, this is way too much stress its plain to see that i'm a nervous wreck havent shaved in days, barely got the strength to get up and take a shower my whole world is crashing down just like the twin towers this life that was once satisfied and happy, has become so dull needing you badly, you're like a drug, and i'm that addicted soul confused, where is my life heading i was so secure that i'd see the day that we'd be having a big wedding what am i doing!?! writing my feelings down with this pen and pad when i should be contemplating on how to get you back my heart is aching, it's been burnt to crisp and colored black i think i'm heading for a breakdown, all of this pressure on me at once! i was above the water but now i've completly sunk! drowning in my own misery i'm hittin' the bottle while i reminisc on the vivid memories "A New Reflection Of The Soul" fear of rejection... is it the reason why i've always kept my inner feelings hidden away my selfish predictions of failure, looking foward to another rainy day but what if looked foward to a bright day filled with sunshine + happiness would i find myself having fun with my loved ones and recieving many hugs? Yes not being able to stop smiling, my heart filled with so much joy grown into a man from a lost and confused little boy life would seem so precious at that exact moment but then i fall back and hit rock bottom again, wondering where those smiles went or do i? maybe i stay standing tall with more confidence than ever before wake up in the morning feeling brand new and taking a long hot shower putting clothes on, expressing styles that i never knew i had until now dressed to impress, catching the eyes of beautiful women walking bye no more hiding my eyes behind my dark-tinted sun glasses, why? because i'm looking into their eyes with a deep strong passion communicating and expressing my every thought, no need for them to be askin'... whats on my mind... feeling amped and wanting to go out and explore new things who knows, i might find my princess and on her finger, i put a ring i cannot deny the feelings of wanting to have a little baby like 'Pac said, "so i can see a part of me that wasnt always shady" no more am I scared of being an adult very thankful of all of the things that i've been taught realizing that my parents always tried to protect me from the illnesses of this world drugs and depression only hold a person back, so i share my story with... a new reflection of the soul... "Confusion aka My Life" tired of feeling the way i feel how do i explain it, when i'm not sure if it's even real anxious moments i find myself in, with a lump in my throat maybe you can relate with this poem that i wrote the comfort zone turns to a state of nervousness i only wish to feel comfortable and real, nothing less is it all in my head, am i insane and crazy? i often find myself stuck in the dark side of me in deep thought, everything around me freezes the happiness i once had ceases i'm outside of the window, looking into the world waiting to be a player in the game of life will i live to see the day i have a child and wife things seem harder to me than they really are i find myself in a cloud, the real world is too far too far for me to make an entrance too dark for me to see the light up ahead isolation gets the best of me, laying weak in bed i kept all of my emotions inside, I run and hide chip on my shoulder, feelings that i'm a stranger to inside how do i express my love to the ones that i love this life of mine is ruff all i hear is silence lately i've been seeing violence witness my oldest sister shoot drugs into her vein maybe one day we'll be living happily together - with no more rain days seem dark and cold in these times at war with myself call the doctor, i need help like Pink, "i'm a hazard to my [own] self" i try to forget the bad stuff that i've seen but they stay active in my memory, my soul is scarred i sit back and feel the depression set in, i'm feeling low i'm feeling rusty, i'm feeling like i cant grow i'm waiting to bloom like a rose, but i'm covered with concrete living a life that is nothing more than a broken dream i need to win this battle, and make it disappear still young and dumb, i'm feeling like the beginning of a new life is near |
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| © Copyright 2003 William D. Curtner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Interesting...James |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Your writing is very, very good, but I have to tell you that I truly wish that you would have posted three poems today, waited, and then perhaps posted some more tomorrow as it is impossible to take the time to read all five of these at one time, let alone comment on all of them. This board moves so fast that usually we like to read as many different poets as possible and give proper feedback to each on their work. I have marked this to come back but think about maybe posting them separately to get more readers. Enjoyed! |
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