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Open Poetry #26
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Rita's Place
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Rita's Place |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I caught a hint of aroma that like Gardenia blossoms exists most gently in the south and followed it along the river until I found myself at Rita’s Place. My stomach growled on Pavlovian cue, as I inhaled deeply and stepped from the car. I walked towards the door feeling, after so many hours of driving, like I was wearing an old pair of steel wheeled roller skates, stopped at the paper box for a Sunday Times and went inside. A pitcher of sweating sweet tea arrived at my table only a minute after I sat down and I wasted no time in pouring a glass as I opened a menu. The waitress laughed when I ordered fried chicken with half a dozen vegetables and cornbread, asking where I planned on puttin’ all that food. I promised to double her tip if I left anything on the plate for her to scrape. ‘You heard him Buddy’, she said, resting her hand on the shoulder of a guy sitting at the counter as she filled his cup with steaming coffee. ‘I did’, he chuckled, nodding towards the kitchen and I knew I’d been played for the city boy fool she thought I was. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh good gads, man... ~*~ I caught a hint of aroma that like Gardenia blossoms exists most gently in the south ~*~ take us THERE, why don't you?  ~*~ and followed it along the river until I found myself at Rita’s Place. My stomach growled on Pavlovian cue, as I inhaled deeply and stepped from the car. ~*~ Goodness...let's set the tone! ~*~ I walked towards the door feeling, after so many hours of driving, like I was wearing an old pair of steel wheeled roller skates, ~*~ take me back to my childhood why dontcha? ~*~ A pitcher of sweating sweet tea arrived at my table only a minute after I sat down and I wasted no time in pouring a glass as I opened a menu. The waitress laughed when I ordered fried chicken with half a dozen vegetables and cornbread, asking where I planned on puttin’ all that food. I promised to double her tip if I left anything on the plate for her to scrape. ‘You heard him Buddy’, she said, resting her hand on the shoulder of a guy sitting at the counter as she filled his cup with steaming coffee. ‘I did’, he chuckled, nodding towards the kitchen and I knew I’d been played for the city boy fool she thought I was. ~*~  More! Now! Please? |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Oh yes....more please?  Caught up in this I am. Chris  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan All I can say is a fool, is a fool, is a fool, well done, enjoyed the read. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I hate to be left waiting..how fast can you write? Susan |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Thanks for the appetizer...bring on the main course, please.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Duncan, This is so smooth...moves right along, you taking us with you... favorite line: 'My stomach growled on Pavlovian cue' And who could not like the last sentence. I agree with Scorpio.... Thanks for this, hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh yes Duncan...more please?! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Only a city boy could come up with 'sweating sweet tea' Very cool! Gotta get me some! Love the way you set the mood Duncan~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I caught a hint of aroma that like Gardenia blossoms exists most gently in the south and followed it along the river until I found myself at Rita’s Place. My stomach growled on Pavlovian cue, as I inhaled deeply and stepped from the car. ============================= A pitcher of sweating sweet tea arrived at my table only a minute after I sat down and I wasted no time in pouring a glass as I opened a menu. The waitress laughed when I ordered fried chicken with half a dozen vegetables and cornbread, asking where I planned on puttin’ all that food. I promised to double her tip if I left anything on the plate for her to scrape. ================================= Do ya get the feeling Kari liked this one??   Loving you pen when its weaving a long winded tale Dunc...as I keep telling ya...youve got a knack for this..and I see our poet pal the Capt has got in on the action so onward I go.... maybe his installment will answer my question... who the hell is Rita??? LOL |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Lovely Rita meter maid...James |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh NOOOOOO....truthfully, I was NOT being JM in disguise...it was just like MANNA to see this appear today...and BAM! Cpat jumps on the bandwagon.... the boys ARE back in town! Life IS good again! |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Loved this - totally awesome and full of visionary delight. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Hey Dunc? Go see Cpats' part two for my comment....Too darn lazy to type it twice. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
BRAVO!!!BRAVO!!!!I LOVE IT...We need an encore!!! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Well everyone... I have to agree Duncan did well with this. Now..for the rest of the story... I think he started this piece when he was 12... and just now finished it. According to legend he was kidnapped by a tribe of scribes and they made him work on accounting books for years and he used to tear small corners of paper off the pages and sneak them to his room at night. Each night he wrote one word on a slip of paper and eventually had enough words to make a poem. Problem was... he needed to fit all the pieces together. About that time there was a young lady who came to the traveling scribes to get her drivers license forged.. er..I mean to get some documents copied and Dunc fell for her. Well they arranged to meet for a quiet interlude and Dunc showed up with all the pieces of paper he had written words on with the idea he's write a love poem to this wonderful love he had just found. Unfortunately, when he spread them out on the table and began to arrange them he found that words like firehose were not typically used in love poems. Their ill fated meeting did however lead to Duncan finding his biological parents and to actually having a full sheet of paper for the first time in his life that he could write anything he wanted to on. He savored that sheet of paper and put a great deal of thought into what shoud be placed with care on the blank white he so covetted. This poem is the result of years of his thought and effor tto fill that one sheet of paper. Now.. that is all legend...and we all know how urban legends are... but I'll tell you this...if you have any blank sheets of paper around mail them to him so he won't feel so miserly when it comes to writing..for fear of again being forced to tear corners off of other peoples books to write single words on...  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You know what? I messed up... I saw your question "do I have to take this abuse" and when I answered it was in the wrong thread! YIKES! no YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS ABUSE not if there's MORE! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
LMAO..... Capt--you are in rare form today... haha Dunc will have to think quick to get revenge... OH...no worries there huh? rofl  Where is that porch puppy anyway??? |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Kari? You too? I am so hurt and dissapointed...can't take the pressure.... [This message has been edited by Duncan (04-22-2003 08:56 PM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Poor Duncan,   He's so mistreated... Hey, we just wanta read more. LOL Hugs to you, Ethel |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I know I'll regret asking but... 'Their ill fated meeting did however lead to Duncan finding his biological parents and to actually having a full sheet of paper for the first time in his life that he could write anything he wanted to on.' So how did this lead to me meeting my biological parents? And who gave me the paper? |
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