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Open Poetry #26
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letter to the editor
| Open Poetry #26 |
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letter to the editor |
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Drexler_McStyles Member
since 2002-11-18
Posts 195Venice, Ca |
today is the easter egg hunt Im in here, making an omelet drinking poison and smoking dirt cold beans and rice form a residency on the backburner I am in an empty lot at 3 in the morning with the double barrel and the failing transmission sucking down the sauce J. Cash asking me for a favor under the crackle of the pine needle the candles the new candles need dusting light them for cosmetic purposes for the sake of darkness and its effects the sad songs they are the only ones I know by heart the rest I just hum along with as I type on this machine she asked me to be her friend hope that’s OK let me know what you think its rather painless the way they strike you down with the soft skin as they flutter away into the past haunting the present and negating the future |
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| © Copyright 2003 Steven Doherty - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I did have some trouble stitching the imagery together here... I got the emptiness, the distance of emotions, and some sort of underlying yearn for yesterdays that is quelched through a scowl of realism... and, since I do think I understand what you're doing, I will speak freely--as a reader, I NEEDED something to hang on to... do you mind terribly if I say I felt this lacked cohesiveness? and if there is something I "didn't get"? Feel free to educate me. And if this was more of a vent or experiment? then please pardon me. I do appreciate your talent, but? I always felt included in most of your work--this time, I just didn't. If there's something I am not getting? I would appreciate it if you'd fill me in. OH, hell, humor me.  ? |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
interesting writes, i like your idea putting 3 all togeather on one post? i assume this is what you did? if not then the 3 parts make a interesting thought, yeah i liked it, gives me a idea? >>QjQ<< |
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Drexler_McStyles Member
since 2002-11-18
Posts 195Venice, Ca |
yeah, its kind of all over the place because I was sort of in an emotional daze and didnt bother to edit or tweek it, didnt really care at the time and wasnt feeling like much of a craftsman. maybe Ill fix it, or maybe Ill just let it die its slow death Drexler |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Yep, always humming the dark tune, shining flashlights at dirt. No one does it better than you Steven. Tweek it if you must, but life rambles a bit, so why not this? [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (04-21-2003 12:51 PM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yeah |
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