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Open Poetry #26
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Inside Breaking Out
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Inside Breaking Out |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050
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I wish that I could figure out who trapped me in this room? Who felt the need to isolate me? in this place of gloom? I guess I’m being punished I just wish that I knew why? I’m stuck inside a place where light and hope are sent to die I’m standing in a pool of bloody tears that never rained The drains are clogged, so here I sit, in rivers full of pain I can’t get out because there is a chain across the door My only hope are these two windows on the second floor The shades were hard to get back up they didn’t want to budge I tried to clean the dirty glass but all it did was smudge And still as I saw figures walking by my tainted view They somehow seemed familiar like the people I once knew They always seemed to stop and talk into these window panes I couldn’t understand them, as if I was now insane I wanted to get out of there and finally figured out If someone’s going to hear me I would have to scream and shout I’ve wasted too much of my life trapped in this lonely place There's too much of my happiness I’ve shamefully misplaced I’m going to break down these walls and finally break through I’m getting out of here if its, the last thing that I do I started pounding with my fists till they were red and raw I fell down to my knees, and in a pool of tears I saw My own reflection looking back and yelling in my ears You’ve never been trapped in a room Your trapped inside your fears! |
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| © Copyright 2003 Richy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
very good thoughts and well written,,, It's the quality of the complement that i feel, not the quanity. |
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bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
wow wonderfully wrote and the flow is great!  A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Richy...Great message, wonderfully written! |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
My own reflection looking back and yelling in my ears You’ve never been trapped in a room Your trapped inside your fears! How true, Richey. I enjoyed your poem. "To be in love with love is truly to love".....by Paladin |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Oh Richy, This is exceptional work! I was drawn in right away because the words contradict what I know of you through your writings. I could feel horror on my face as I read the lines. What happened to that funny comedian, free-spirited Richy, I thought to myself? Don't get me wrong the writing is wonderful, just unexpected. But that last stanza...Oh, bud, you drove it home! So true, so true. What fear will take from you. Outstanding!!!! On another note: I am not sure if the poem, "A Coming of Age" is a known poetic style. It was just an arrangment of lines I made up. I guess the rhyme scheme would go: A A B C c B I tried to be economical in my words but still get the point across. The flow seemed to go. I had read the dog gone thing a dozen times, trying to make sure of the flow and that there were enough words to draw the picture. I think it worked? Try it...it is kind of freeing. Patricia |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Ya gots duh message....ya gots it right!! Excellent my friend. Very well said and hit the point perfectly. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Well written and expressed I could feel the fear in your words. Its amazing what ones mind can do if we let it wander. Julie "Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened. " |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Thanks QjQ, I’m glad you liked it Hi Bslicker, it’s nice to meet you. Thanks for taking the time to say a kind word Thanks Martie, coming from you, that means a lot to me! Thank You Ethel, your thoughtfulness is always very much appreciated! Hi Patricia, I had wanted to write a poem about feeling trapped inside one’s own depression (not mine... yeah right...lol). And how, the strong power of denial, prevents, or at least makes it harder to escape from it. And so, I am trapped inside this room (my mind), and my mouth (chained door) is of no use, because I am unable to say anything that will get me out. The two windows (my eyes) upstairs are blurred by my psychotic disorder. And even when I pry the shades (my eyelids) open, I still can only barely make out my reality. Any way... blah blah blah... lol ...and I finally realize, that no one really put me anywhere, but myself. And of course that, realizing that, is the key, to the lock... And to, getting out... and on with my life... Any who... a little different for me huh? lol You know Patricia, I’ve told you before. Sometimes, those who appear the happiest, are actually just trying to cover up, some real, deep down sadness... I’m glad you liked it! Thanks as always Patricia! Yeah Barry, I’m afraid it’s true... Once in a while, even I, get it! lol I’m glad you liked it friend, Thanks a lot for your nice comments! Julie, I want to thank you, for commenting on my writing so much recently, it really means a lot to me. Bless You, Your very kind! |
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quatro Member
since 2003-04-29
Posts 392Galveston, Texas |
Richy, I always enjoy your writing. It amazes me sometimes. Keep up the good work. quatro |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Amazing write Richy! The last stanza say sit all! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Richy, Richy, Richy! This is true for so many of us--but once those self-limiting walls are knocked down we return to the fresh air in the land of the living. A great message!--and well penned! Love & Light, Linda |
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