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Elan
Member

since 2002-05-03

Posts 382
State of Wide Eye

0 posted 2003-05-30 05:11 PM

She hums so gentle in sing-song breath
Something to help her find her way
Though struggles run her rampant [death?]
Determined, she swift runs through the clay

As from a dream those hands reach out
Adamant, a will allowing sore to soar
If ever one to find her way about
She perseveres to step one step more.

‘Tis said from dust we come,
Though mixed with tears, it’s clay
The sing-gone breath of gentle hum
Tells her she can’t stay.

Mindful of the mind fields found
She scampers from dawn to night
Heedful of words “mine,” his sounds
She hides her glowing light.

Careful is she that her shell holds fast
For she will not allow that it should break
For that would only allow love to pass,
Which she guards for her soul mate’s sake

Weary is this the tender maid ~ her love bears on her mind
For he alone still holds the key ~ to him, her heart is twined.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2003-05-30 05:34 PM

Very nice, Elan
I love your ending couplet:

Weary is this the tender maid ~ her love bears on her mind
For he alone still holds the key ~ to him, her heart is twined...

M

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

2 posted 2003-05-30 05:43 PM

Elan, excellent poem. love the message
and particularly these ending lines.

Weary is this the tender maid ~ her love bears on her mind
For he alone still holds the key ~ to him, her heart is twined.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2003-05-30 06:40 PM

Hello Elan...so nice to see your words here today..
I could hear this one softly hummed..
by one so fair, and sweet.
Hauntingly lovely my dear.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-05-30 07:27 PM

enjoyed this read

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

5 posted 2003-05-30 07:43 PM

A write of deep emotions...much enjoyed..

believe in what your heart feels...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-05-30 10:20 PM

Careful is she that her shell holds fast
For she will not allow that it should break
For that would only allow love to pass,
Which she guards for her soul mate’s sake

Weary is this the tender maid ~ her love bears on her mind
For he alone still holds the key ~ to him, her heart is twined.

===================

In case no one ever told you...
your rhymes are divine

Lovely poetess Elan.

Im still imagining your voice ...
can see the sparkle in your eyes.
I cant explain your power over me
Its understated understood & beautiful.
cj

ben_pelling
Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 59
Isle of Wight UK.

7 posted 2003-05-30 10:56 PM

I loved this part of the write,
"Weary is this the tender maid ~ her love bears on her mind
For he alone still holds the key ~ to him, her heart is twined."

This was a very well written piece!!!

Ben.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

8 posted 2003-05-30 11:15 PM

Very much enjoyed your words. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....

-Emily Dickinson

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

9 posted 2003-05-31 01:11 AM

Oh Elan,

My heart is breaking for you. I am sitting here sobbing. I know this all too well.

I sang that song for a life time,
Mesmorizing, hypnotizing, un-sublime
Lacking excitement of rythym and rhyme.
Now I seek a song to hear, not to mime.

I hope this little verse makes sense to you and provides a little comfort in knowing someone else has walked a mile in those uncomfortable shoes.

Patricia

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

10 posted 2003-05-31 05:09 AM

Oh my! I do believe I have no words for this one Elan.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

11 posted 2003-05-31 06:45 AM

Elan, this is so beautiful that I am also
speechless...something very rare for me.
I hope that you don't mind if I keep this?
I want to read it over and over again.
Thank you.

Hugs,

Ethel

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

12 posted 2003-05-31 08:15 AM

Indeed - Hum away, Elan - Your verse is always a treat...

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

13 posted 2003-06-01 09:49 PM

"Weary is this the tender maid ~ her love bears on her mind
For he alone still holds the key ~ to him, her heart is twined."

I know this one...too well.
Beautifully said, Elan.
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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