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Open Poetry #26
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Love's Chimes (Tanka ?)
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Love's Chimes (Tanka ?) |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach 
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 . . . Take a chance on love Be eager to spin fate's wheel Let your heart sing out Join the chorus of life's chimes Tinkling with each first kiss ~ . . . Chris Barker May 2003 ~~ |
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| © Copyright 2003 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Chris, this is beautiful, sweet friend, I believe in love and I dream sooooooooo uch to offer this love to a beautiful girl who I dream to love! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, may love always ring in your heart like a glockenspiel piano melody, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Chris, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Awwww Noah, my sweet friend. Love will come to you...just be patient. Thankyou for reading and responding as you always do. hugs! "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Chris, whatever it is...it is a beautiful cluster of words with a heckuva lot of feel to them. OK? Liked it. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Well, like magnus, I can't answer the tanka?? question, I barely know what words are least wise how to "format" them, but lovely it is in it's form, and function... jwesley |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Almost a Tanka, dear...you're missing one syllable on the last line...but the thought, the photo? Priceless! |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I love this tanka, Chris. I'm so glad that I "took a chance on love" again. If I hadn't, I would have missed the love of the most wonderful man I've ever known!! Hugs to you, friend  Ethel . . . (Pssstt!! From what I've written down that a tanka is, you've got the syllable count exactly perfect..... 5 lines 1st line 5 syllables 2nd line 7 3rd line 5 4th line 7 5th line 7 Aren't these little Japanese verses fun to write? I love to try them.) |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Uh-oh. I missed what Karilea saw. Sorry. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautiful words of love tonight dear sister. Much enjoyed the thoughts, especially after last Saturday.  ~Love, and it was great to see you! Teed~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
This write sang like windchimes in the sunset...very pretty. TD |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou all. Now, you have me wondering....is "tinkling" not 3 syllables? I never was good at math...lol. Hugs all !! "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I love playing with the Japanese styles of poetry. Unfortunately my muse is not as enthusiastic about them as I am. But this one is just wonderful.  [This message has been edited by WhiteRose (05-28-2003 11:41 PM).] |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Just lovely, Chris! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
that's beautiful |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
isnt that the funny thing bout syllables...it often depends on where we live, or our accents, how we pronounce words and sometimes that will effect how we hear it. I had the same problem when I was learning to write these... my "hick" MO accent added a few sounds that the dictionary told me didnt belong. LOL So I went an looked this one up.... Main Entry: [1]tin·kle Pronunciation: 'ti[ng]-k&l Function: verb Inflected Form(s): tin·kled; tin·kling Webster says its 2.... Either way..the poem is lovely and its so cool to see you trying new styles and as I say..playing with your poetry. perfect pic too.  lovely theme poetess Chris Darkness cannot drive out darkness ... only light can do that. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very nicely done Chris. The best teachers have the biggest ears |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
 note to Janet Marie : you are so right! I have always pronounced "tinkling" as "tink/l/ing" 3 syllables. Possibly because I am in Canada...eh? lol. hugs! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This was totally delightful, Chris! I believe you may need one more syllable (beat) in the last line to be a tanka. But that really isn't important. The poem is lovely as it is!  Warm hugs, Linda |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Although not actually a Tanka, by English standards. The Japanese writing is not the same as ours And it was characters, not syllables, they counted. It was to make the writing look symmetrical. XXXXX OOOOOO XXXXX OOOOOO OOOOOO this would be more pronounced in the longer Choka (which the Tanka is the shortest form) How ever you read it, of say it, The emotional input of this poem Makes it worthy of the reading. Enjoyed Gloom |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou Linda, vandana, & Gloom. There is so much to be learned about poetry. I wish at times I had been able to stay in school....then again...it's fun to be able to learn on my own time now. lol. You are all so sweet. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Chris, it's so good to hear that you have the same Southern accent as I have. LOL It kind of surprised me, knowing that you're from Canada. Do you talk slow, too? I've lived in Florida for most of my life, but was born in Alabama. The Alabamian accent stayed with me. HaHa!! I have a true Southern Drawl. That reminds me of a poem I wrote about my Southern Drawl. I'm gonna go see if I can find it. LOL I love your poem, by the way. You said more in the few words than I seem to be able to. I love to try to write these short poems, though. Bye sweet Lady  Hugs, Ethel |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou Ethel. Do we talk slowly in Canada? Hmmm...I don't really know...I would tend to say that we speak quickly. I do know that my penpal in Arkansas just loves my "Canandian accent" lol....even though we don't really have one. Be well my friend. Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Chris - a'hhhhh, now you're talking sweet words... BC |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Bill - many thanks from one hopeless romantic to another. "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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carol Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624Florida USA |
Nightshade, very nice write Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
carol, thankyou for reading and commenting~ "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.Amore vinces omni. paladin |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou dear paladin!! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
There are advantages to ignorance. *G* I don't know the form, so I can only appreciate the poem... and it's beautiful! *S* |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou Ruth - sweet of you to comment.hugs! "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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