The Kind You Don't Ever Want To Get

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Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

0 posted 2003-05-21 10:22 PM

I got a phone call the other night

A week ago, tonight

It was a little after midnight

My 19 year old son Richy (Jr.) had asked me earlier, if he could go out?
That was around 10:00 pm
He didn’t have any morning classes the next day
So I said, “Sure, that‘s fine, be home at 1:00 AM.”

When he’s out, I always stay up, until he gets home

At 12:15 AM, the phone rang

It was my son

He told me, that he had been in a car accident!

He was frantic!
And scared!
Very, very scared!
I could hear the fright in his voice
And it scared the hell out of me

My son is a big burly kid
I call him a kid
But, he’s a man, actually
I’m just not used to it, I guess

He’ll always be my little boy
even though, he is much bigger then me
He’s six feet tall, and weighs 225 lbs
He played football all four years in High School
All as an offensive lineman
The last two years he played center
The starting center on the varsity team
He never missed a practice
Never came out of a game
Played every down
Well, until he tore a ligament in his knee

When he called me that night
I’d never heard his voice like that before

You know, when someone is so frightened,
that their voice is quivering with horror,
and trembling with fright?
Like they are shivering in a ocean of fear?

My son was in near shock, and in a state of confusion
Suddenly plunged into a scary nightmare, and now
functioning on sheer instinct, and survival
And compassion

In between traces of tearful cries
And choked back murmurs of terror
He was trying to tell me something about
someone grabbing a steering wheel or something
And that he had lost control of the car

And that...

The car had flipped over!

My blood ran cold...

He told me that one of the three girls in the car
Laura Lee
A very good friend of his
And of our family’s

Was thrown from the car!

And that she wasn’t responding very well!

I had never felt, so helpless before in my life

One of the most important responsibilities of being a parent
is to protect your children

A responsibility, I had always held myself extremely accountable to
From which, I would risk or give my own life, without hesitation, without
a scintilla of thought, for any one of my children

I felt overwhelmed

And awestricken

But almost immediately I became
collected and poised
And I became fearless

My astonishment would have to wait, for a later time

My son, was less then five minutes away
He was in danger, and he needed my help

And absolutely nothing, was going to stop me from getting to him

I asked him if he had called 9-1-1
And he said, that he just did
I asked him where he was
And I asked him if Laura Lee was breathing
He said that she was, but that she was quickly becoming very despondent

I told him to do the best he could
And that my cell phone would be on
And that I was on my way

Minutes later, as I was racing past a car a few blocks from my house
I started thinking about my father
His name was Richard too
And when I was five years old, he died in a car accident

After my three sons were born during a five year span
From 1984 to 1989
I was always kind of worried, that I would die
before my youngest was five.

It was a such a relief, when he finally, turned six...

I also thought about the accident I got into when I was 18 years old too
It was a head on collision, that kept me in the hospital for three weeks

And I also thought about the other accident my son was in, last year
after graduation
That one wasn’t too bad...
Thank God!

My father’s name was Richard
He named me after him
And, I named my first son Richard
And for some darn reason
We Richard’s seemed to have this bad luck
with car accidents?

As I got closer, to the accident
I noticed a fire truck ahead
With it’s lights running, and it’s siren blaring!
He was going the same way I was

It was like a bad dream, following a fire truck
to the scene of your own son’s accident

We turned onto the long country road
where my son had his accident on,
And after a few moments, I could see all the lights up ahead

I seemed to be going in slow motion

There were Fire Trucks, Highway Patrol cars and
many other cars of volunteer fireman who had got the call

God Bless Them All

I was talking to my son, right then on our cell phones
telling him that I would be there any second now
As I pulled up
I saw the car
It was upside down
On it’s top
Off the side of the road
In an orchard

And it was crushed

I could not believe what I was seeing

I pulled over and rushed over there
Telling whatever cop that was in my way that
“That was my son who was driving!”

I found him talking to a Highway patrolman
Amidst all this chaos
I ran up to him and grabbed his arm
And looked into his eyes, asked him if he was alright?
He said that he was OK
He was dirty and disheveled
But he came through with only some minor back pain
And a few cuts and bruises

I took a long deep breath...

Thank You God!

I was so relieved!

I liked to think, my son was to

He now knew his Dad was there
Someone who had always helped him
through life, when he had a problem
Someone, who on more than one occasion
had stuck up for him, when he was too small
or too hurt to fight for himself

I then saw one of Richy’s friends, Allysa
She was pretty shaken up
But she looked like she was in pretty good shape
As I turned around, noticing the first of two ambulances show up
I saw another one of my son’s friends Christiana
She was standing over to the side
Her face was covered in blood
She had a huge cut on top of her forehead
The poor thing was moaning
And she seemed to be in a lot of pain

I then looked down, and saw the last passenger, Laura Lee
She was lying on top of a Fireman’s rigid board, with a neck brace on.
She was unconscious
And I gasped!

She was one of Richy’s dearest friends
They went to the Senior Prom together
And here she was, being strapped to the board
By several Firemen

She didn‘t have her shoes on
And the contrast of her dark painted toenails
against her pale skin, had a very eerie feel to it

It was now somewhere around 12:30 at night
It was dark and cold out
There we’re lights flashing everywhere
And there was an organized but anxious feeling of pandemonium
I was so scared at that moment, of the possibility
that such a young, vibrant, and wonderful friend of my son’s
was possibly not going to make it

That someone we knew
And cared for very much
was in critical condition
That my son was involved in this
And that her parents didn’t even know about this
They didn’t have a clue
They were back home, safe and sound
maybe asleep
and their daughter was out here on the side of the road
fighting for her life

How in the world could this be happening?
Why?
This is my safe little town
This is one of the reasons we liked it here so much
Because it was safe
Because there were no gangs, or violence
Nothing bad was supposed to happen to our kids out here

Here was this poor girl
Who just hours before had her whole life ahead of her
Now scratching with whatever she had left
to survive.
It was so unfortunate that her parents weren’t there
But we were
And we cared very much for Laura Lee
And everything we could all possibly ever hope,
wish, and pray for at that moment
was all being prayed for
for her

As the other two girls gave their statements
and were eventually taken to our town hospital
And Laura Lee flown to the nearest trauma center
to a city 40 miles away
The real story started to come out
of what exactly happened

According to Richy, Alyssa, and Christiana, what had happened was this:
They had been hanging out for a while at one of the girl’s house
When they decided to go for a ride, out to this haunted house
not too far out of town
You know, typical young kid type of stuff
They swung by and picked up Laura Lee
and they noticed that she had been drinking
because she was acting very irrational
Well as they were on there way out to this local hangout
They had noticed that Laura Lee, who was sitting up front
in the passenger seat, had unfastened her seat belt earlier

And then suddenly, and without warning
for reasons the three of them don’t know
she grabbed the steering wheel and pulled it hard, toward the right
making the car veer off the right side of the road

My son yanked it back to get back onto the street
But they were in the loose gravel off the road
and they lost control

They started spinning toward the left side of the road
And the car now went over that side of the road
still spinning in a circle or two in the dirt
until it hit some large irrigation pipes
and flipped over

At least twice!

They ended up, upside down
with the car on the roof
Richy, Alyssa, and Christiana all still buckled in their seatbelts
were hanging upside down
in a total daze of destruction
And Laura Lee
who wasn’t buckled in
was thrown from the car

When I saw the car, the drivers side was completely crushed down
It looked like a wrecked convertible
My son is so lucky he wasn’t severely hurt
or worse
God forbid!
But the passenger's side had about three feet open
where the windows used, to be
After my son regained his faculties
he was able to free himself
and get out
He then crawled back in
and got the other two girls out
He was especially concerned
because he smelled gas and oil

Soon thereafter
they found Laura Lee
lying face down
in the dirt field

They tended to her
As best they could
and she was able to sit up
repeatedly saying
”That she just wanted to go home.”

Those were the last words they heard from her

They searched around for one of their cell phones
and Richy finally found his and called 9-1-1
And then he called me, right after

After they took the girls to the hospital
They took their time to interrogate my son
asking him if had been drinking
or doing any kind of drugs
He assured them that he hadn‘t
But of course they had to gave him a field sobriety test

They had him blow into a breath analyzer
to detect any alcohol in his breath
It’s totally understandable that they did this
But here was my poor kid
who just went through this horrifying ordeal
Outside after all this time
In the cold
With no shoes on
because he could only find one
With only a tee shirt, and some light pants on
having to look up with his hands out to the side
And one foot held out in front of him
with their flashlights constantly shining, in his eyes

Well any way
He finally checked out, completely
He wasn’t given a citation
And released to go
He hopped on the last ambulance
to go be with his friends
While I stayed around for another hour or two
with these cops, and the tow truck driver
getting my car all squared away
After the tow truck driver flipped the car over
I was able to look inside the car
because the inside light was stuck on
because one of the doors was stuck open
In the car I could see blood
all over the back seats
where the two other girls were sitting
I grabbed as many of my son’s belongings
as I could find
Including two different pairs of bloody shoes
and my son’s other shoe
The left one
It was stuck up, and jammed between the floor board
and the left side of the brake pedal
Somehow while they were flipping in the car
his shoe got stuck up and in there

I also saw this gray torn up sweater vestout in the dirt
It was filthy, and all cut up
I picked it up, and looked at it
with the help of the Highway Patrolman’s lights
that were on the whole time
so that we could see out there
in the dark

I thought it was a rag
I thought, no way could this be part
of one of the kid clothes
But for some reason
I put it along with the rest of the belongings
gathering on the side of the road
that I was going to take with me

I finally got over to the hospital around 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning
I met the parents of the other two girls
And we all shared in our grief
and in our amazing good luck
These kids had just been through one hell of an ordeal
But for a few stitches here and few there
They we’re all going to be just fine

All except for Laura Lee, since we didn’t
know how hurt she was

I had asked everyone in the Emergency Room
if Laura Lee’s family had been contacted
And everyone said, that they had been calling but no one
was answering the phone

My son Richy then realized that he had Laura Lee’s
brother’s phone number, who lived with their dad
The parent’s were divorced
So I called him to tell him the sad news

He said, that he had just found out, minutes before
He was very angry, and wanted to know why my son
had been driving so recklessly?
I didn’t feel it was appropriate to tell him that
by all accounts, his own daughter was the one
who caused the accident

So, I just took his verbal onslaught, and told him
we all hoped the best, for his daughter

After we finally got home that night
around 4:00 am
I took a shower as Richy recanted the whole nights
events to my wife
who was worried sick
but had stayed home with our other two kids
I had spoken to her several times while I was out there
After Richy got out of the shower
I made him a big giant sandwich

And I gave him a big hug

I told him how proud of him I was
I told him that what he did that night
was so very responsible
and so very brave
And I told him
that not only was he those three girl’s hero

But that, he was also my hero too

I woke up several times during that night
and early morning
having bad dreams of what could have been...

And I keep having them

And who knows, I probably always will?

But then, that’s just part of being a parent...

The next day, Richy, my wife and I
drove out to the accident scene
And just kind of walked around
The day seemed to shine really bright, that day

We looked at the skid marks
and tried to retrace what had happened
Because, for Richy (Jr.), it just happened so fast

We then drove over to the wrecking yard
where the car was towed to
And my wife was shocked!

It was a freakish sight
And it reminded me
of the van I wrecked when I was his age

Later, when we got home
I opened the trunk
So Richy could get the rest of his belongings
that I had gathered for him the night before

He picked up that torn up gray sweater vest
And said, “Oh, you brought Laura Lee’s vest home?!”

I didn’t say anything

I was just glad, I did
He told me later, that they cut it off her, so that they wouldn't have to move her any more then they had to

As of today

We‘re not sure if Laura Lee is out of Intensive Care or not

She is very, very sick...

The father, is understandably upset
And doesn’t want to believe
that his daughter
that he kicked out some years ago
could have done, what she did

There are even rumblings
about lawsuits, being filed

I’m optimistic though
That, everything will turn out, in a positive way

First and foremost

That Laura Lee fully recovers

I have, changed the names of the three girls, to protect their identity...

I’ll keep you posted on Laura Lee’s condition

Yeah, I got a phone call the other night

The kind, you don’t ever want to get...

[This message has been edited by Richy (05-22-2003 06:17 AM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2003-05-21 10:33 PM

Hugs and Prayers for you, and your family, and for all the families.
TD

JingleBear
Member

since 2003-05-08

Posts 76
Pennsylvania, USA

2 posted 2003-05-21 10:38 PM

I'm so sorry you had and have to go through all of that.... you ARE a very good father, jusdging by what you said. Good luck, and i'll be praying for you!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2003-05-21 11:15 PM

I scarcely took a breath the whole time that I was reading your account of that night--every parent's nightmare! God bless you all and may Laura Lee survive her injuries.

Healing hugs,
EA

quatro
Member

since 2003-04-29

Posts 392
Galveston, Texas

4 posted 2003-05-22 01:08 AM

Love and prayers to your and your family and the families of your sons friends. I hope that by sharing with us your thoughts, fears and concerns about the accident will help you to recover from what may seem like a bad dream to you. You are on your way to recovery and because you are as strong as you are, you son will grow to be even a stronger man. He is lucky to have your for a father. I wish you all the best.

whiskey

Senior Member

since 1999-12-28

Posts 1278
Australia

5 posted 2003-05-22 02:01 AM

I wish you and your son, as well as all the families involved in this horrible ordeal the best. I hope wounds will heal inside and out. Sending my prayers to Laura lee for a full recovery.

Julie

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-05-22 02:37 AM

Richy, I also send my thoughts and prayers for "Laura Lee" and her family, the other girls and their families, and your son and you and your wife and family. I also send up thanks to God for His hand of protection over them all. It sounds as though there could have very well been worse results with the kids.
Please do keep us posted on Laura Lee.
Heart hugs to all of you,
Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2003-05-22 03:51 AM

prayers going out from my heart tonight

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

8 posted 2003-05-22 08:25 AM

Richy,

I will be praying for everyone involved here.  What an ordeal.  It is easy to protect your children when they are small... Bandage scraped knees, kiss away hurt feelings. As young adults, with freedom, their hurts are ones that we cannot heal so easily.  Continue to support your son...be there in the physical and mental for him.  He needs you right now.

I have a 20 year old son by a previous marriage.  His father was never involved in his life.  His dad was an alchoholic and a heavy smoker.  After my separation from my current husband, my son Bob...Robert III, went to stay with his paternal grandmother.  He was almost 19 and starting college.  With a 3 year old at the time at home, we thought it would be the best thing.  He could come and go as he pleased as he was in college.  Grandma live closed to where he attended school.  Last fall, my two girls were sick with strep throat...I was up all night with the little one.  When she finally went to sleep, I got on the internet to research strep throat.  It was about 3 am when I went to sleep.  Five minutes later, I heard a heavy knock at the front door.  In hazy sleep, I answered the knock.  It was my son.  He told me his father had died just 15 minutes before.  I was in shock...the alcohol and cigarettes had taken his life at 47.  That is when I realized my son was all grown up...he was a man.  And it was not so easy to heal the hurt.  We just sat there staring into space.

At that point, I realized we cannot protect them from the world as we once did.

I got to go my little girl is again sick with a cold and she is calling me...this is a hurt I can heal.

-Patricia

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

9 posted 2003-05-22 03:38 PM

Yes,
one of those calls
a parent never
wants to get.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

10 posted 2003-05-22 05:23 PM

hugs and prayers for you

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

11 posted 2003-05-22 06:54 PM

Thank You for your prayers Diamond, that is very kind of you, Oh and thanks for the hugs too... especially

Thank You JingleBear, that was a very nice to thing to say, and I’m grateful to you for your kindness

Linda, I appreciate the time and effort you took to respond. And it’s a real pleasure to know you. Thank you for the healing hugs. Hugs back to you to.

Quatro, that was very sincere of you to reply, thank you. Yeah, your right. It’s always better to have someone to share your darker hours with. Thank you, for being one of those special people

Julie, its nice to meet you. And thank you for your thoughtful comments. We’re just waiting on Laura Lee’s recovery. The better she gets, the better we’ll all feel. Thank you for your prayers, that was very kind of you

I know Ethel, it really could have been so much worse. There could have been more serious injuries, or worse. They could have been trapped in there. You know, it is a long country road, and it was past midnight, so it was very dark out there. When the three kids got out, they saw a car coming and they went out into the street to flag it down for help. And the car just drove by, nearly hitting my son, who had to jump back, because he was in the middle of the street waving his hands frantically. Maybe they didn’t see the car off to the side, thinking it was just some crazy kids. Maybe, they actually went to a phone and called 9-1-1? I’m also glad, that so many kids have cell phones. I’m particularly glad that we thought it was a good idea for our son, to have his own. Who knows how long it would have taken them to get to a phone. And if Laura Lee would have been even worse off then she is now. I’m also glad that my son was responsible enough to not be under the influence of anything, and was able to help out like he did.

Thanks so much for your concern Ethel. And for your prayers. In the short time I’ve been here, I have come to know you as a very caring and compassionate person. Heart Hugs, back to you.

Thank you passing shadows. Your name sums it up quite well. We all have a shadow that passes over us, from time to time. I really appreciate you taking the time to show your concern. Thanks again.

Patricia, that is such a sad story you and your son went through. I’m very sorry. And I hope that you both have been able to somehow deal with such a sad loss. It is strange how fast time seems to fly by, the older we get. Especially when your a parent. Because you have living proof, right in front of your eyes, how much everything, and everyone, is changing. Sometimes it seems like it’s overnight. What are we gonna do Patricia? We can only just keep moving. And hope we did some things right, in our lives. I think the best, is yet to come!

Thanks so much for always being there Patricia. You are a special friend!

Oh, and I hope your daughter feels better soon...

Thank you Karilea, I have a feeling you have children too. And I bet your a wonderful mother to them as well. You know, the call, could have been so much worse. But for me, at this time in my life. It was one I won’t ever forget. Thanks Karilea, for always bringing your sunshine into everyone’s lives.

Thanks so much Vandana. Your kindness is very thoughtful, and much appreciated.

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