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Open Poetry #26
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Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2003-05-20 11:25 PM



Deaf Eyes

Tick tock timebomb,
rotting from the inside out,
I'm the one they all blame
when their jigsaw life refuses to fit.

I am no swan blossomed time
of dandelion metamorphic rose,
I am never tasted by the moment
when the rain runs it's lips across my furrowed brow of youth.
And everybody knows that there's no consolation prize
for last place.

Intangible screams wake with hell sky mornings
hanging themselves from teardrop earrings,
dangling still heart, pewter by sorrow suckle skin.
I believe so much
I've stopped hoping,
I plead so much
knees bleed insane stones.

Though there's always light
at the end of the dark,
I've passed that point long ago
that even my scars have scars
and eyes are blind echoed
of prayers inaudible.

But, don't worry, my friend,
it's alright,
I'll go on heaving a smile
and you'll never see the sound
that I was dead
before I cried.

By Melissa Long-Monette


© Copyright 2003 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
1 posted 2003-05-20 11:30 PM


that even my scars have scars

Now who's reading who's mind? Awesome writing canucklehead

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
2 posted 2003-05-20 11:30 PM


Honeybee - I share with you your words:

Tick tock timebomb,
rotting from the inside out,
I'm the one they all blame
when their jigsaw life refuses to fit.

'I've known the time of tick tock
for I've felt the pain inside
always gave, but never received
and I too am still the one blamed
because their jigsaw world refuses to fit.

BC

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2003-05-20 11:36 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Could it be there is more than one entity that is thicker than blood, the toothache and scabs themselves can be infected ever so deeply you don't know the limits! (sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, makes you wonder exactly when you are seeing 20/20, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Melissa, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
4 posted 2003-05-20 11:42 PM


This is one hard-hitting poem...excellent! I'm going to make it a point to read all your stuff from now on.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
5 posted 2003-05-20 11:47 PM


Wow - poetry on steroids!  Imagine that.

Good work, thanks for sharing it.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
6 posted 2003-05-21 12:46 PM


Melissa:

even my scars have scars
and eyes are blind echoed
of prayers inaudible.

echo . . .

brilliant again - the both of you in my head - no wonder I cant concentrate!
amazing write
xxoo

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
7 posted 2003-05-21 01:14 AM


damn..is all I can say... sorry not good at this comment thing..I think yall have been in my head!

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
8 posted 2003-05-21 01:17 AM


Even scars on scars can be healed everything takes time. Great piece

Julie

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2003-05-21 08:25 AM


Intangible screams wake with hell sky mornings
hanging themselves from teardrop earrings,
dangling still heart, pewter by sorrow suckle skin.
I believe so much
I've stopped hoping,
I plead so much
knees bleed insane stones.

Though there's always light
at the end of the dark,
I've passed that point long ago
that even my scars have scars
and eyes are blind echoed
of prayers inaudible.

===========================

All Hail to our queen of melancholy metaphor.


hanging themselves from teardrop earrings,
dangling still heart, pewter by sorrow suckle skin.


could that line be any cooler???
love your alliterations and personifications.
Your words are power Meliss-girl...
pure poetic power.

I refuse to accept that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism & war that the daybreak of peace can never be reality.
MLK

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2003-05-21 08:31 AM


Your brilliance is shining through this jewel of a poem. (I trust that this is pure poetry and not a reflection of your reality--'cause this is far too heavy a scene for a sweet, little honeybee!)  

Loving, healing hugs,
Linda


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2003-05-21 08:34 AM


Melissa,
You are an excellent writer and this is an excellent write. I wish you well.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
12 posted 2003-05-21 08:45 AM


Though there's always light
at the end of the dark,
I've passed that point long ago
that even my scars have scars
and eyes are blind echoed
of prayers inaudible.



Melissa, this one really touched me. It hurts.
Even though I truly hope that it's not written
from personal experiences, I kind of feel like it is.
If I'm wrong, and it's not, though, it sure did feel
real as I was reading it. Either way, Lady, you
have got some kind of talent to be able to write this way.  
Heart hugs to you from me,  
Ethel

KristieSue
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
13 posted 2003-05-21 09:59 AM


maybe the reason we all have an understanding and feeling for each other...

is because we're all inside each other's heads!!!

awesome job Honeybee!!!

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2003-05-21 12:31 PM


well. . .any comment that I would leave wouldn't even begin to do this justice. . .

so. . . I will just read it again. . .

--------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2003-05-21 12:50 PM


I can say I'm not that strong
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2003-05-21 05:06 PM


Melissa

You write with much power and emotion...can feel a strong spirit inside the lovely.

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